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A Wife’s Heartache. . .

I have debated for a couple of days weather to post my story, her story and his story on the page. I do understand that the outcome of this was not anybody else’s fault except his own. That does not take the hurt away. I’m not asking for bashing, I’m not asking for rude comments. Please take what I’m going through in consideration before you feel the urge to post a negative comment.

Grace, the homewrecker didn’t even know about my husband until the end of September or bear season like my husband would call it. He went up to “bear camp” to guide a hunt and left his children and I at home. No big deal though, this happens all the time with his line of work. I didn’t think anything of it because it was all normal to me. He tried setting Grace up with his other friend who had come along on the hunt with him. The friend was so happy and really fell head of heals for this girl. Little did we know that Grace was using his friend to get closer to my husband. I’m not sure what happened in that first week of bear camp and now that everything is said and done.. I don’t want to know.

My husband came home and would talk about how he is setting up Grace with our friend. How he is so happy that our friend found somebody. Grace this. Grace That. Grace said. Grace didn’t. Grace, Grace, Grace, Grace. I started to get that yucky feeling at the bottom of your stomach, the one that tells you something just isn’t quite right. I started snooping. I didn’t find anything. My husband was offered another Job and we were supposed to move up to the Wilton area at the end of November. He started making phone calls late at night, afternoon and early morning. When I came out he would get off the phone or walk away. Although I didn’t let on that I knew something, I’m sure he realized.

My husband left for another bear hunt in the same area with the same friends. I didn’t know that he had invited Grace to stay with him and nobody thought anything of it because they didn’t sleep in the same bed and as far as they knew Grace was into our mutual friend. My husband didn’t call me that week to check in on our children, he didn’t text and I didn’t hear anything. I tried calling him only to have my phone call ignored. I knew something was definitely up but, what could I have done being 200 miles away, no vehicle and no license? Nothing. I carried on like it was fine. He came home and I immediately knew something was wrong with him. I wrote him a note earlier that day and handed it to him. It explained how I knew about Grace, how much he had hurt me, I knew that it was more than friends, how he is hurting his family and I needed to leave for a few days to get my mind set. I called my parents that night to have them come pick me and the girls up. While I was waiting for my ride, I saw him scribble something in our notebook. I didn’t think anything of it. He left that night, Grabbed his shotgun and I ran to find the note.

Dear ____

Since the day I met you I fell in love with you and that has never changed. You are the perfect mother, the perfect wife. I know I have made mistakes in the past, but you are not one of them. Your beauty, gracefulness and love amaze me. I will miss your kisses, hugs, loves and cuddles. You are the biggest part of my life. I hope you continue to be such a wonderful mother to our children and the one inside of you. Remind them every day how much Daddy loves them and how he wish he could be with him. I’m going to do as you say though, I’m going to let you go, let you go think and let you be free. Always remember I will be watching over you.

Love,

 

_______

I immediately started making phone calls, trying to figure out where he went. I was sobbing, no crying, crying hysterically. I didn’t know what to do; I just know that I needed my husband with me. Phone call after phone call and nothing. I left that night with my mom to try to find him, and we couldn’t. I went back to her place, stayed up all night waiting for some kind of phone call.

That morning I did get a phone call, it was my husband.

Him: Hey baby

Me: Is that all you are going to leave?! A suicide note? That’s it? Your children need you, we love you!

and he hung up.

I didn’t hear from him for two days but, I did hear from Grace (homewrecker).

 

Her:

I know a lot more than you think I do! He told me all about you and his kids! But there stuff you’re not telling me either! Look I’m sorry your feeling all sad and what not but you don’t know everything!! As of right now me and

**** are just friends. I know bout those special papers you singed. I’m not someone to get in the way so I’m not gunna. Thanks for tellin me things I have already heard, hopeful someday we can be friends for the kids, but till than stay strong and have a good day!

Me:

I didn’t sign any of those papers, we are not divorced nor were we talking about a divorce. What exactly am I not telling you?

Her:

Okay so than how can you be so called “happy” with him… this happens all the time ive herd. I never said I no everything bout you nor did I clam to. You dont no anything bout me either.

 

Me:

You don’t know and I don’t think you would understand what has happened between us. If you do decide to look past what ****, ****, ***** and I have told you then I wish you luck with it. In all honesty Grace, I can promise you that you won’t ever have to know me.

Her:

I dont really wanna get in the middle of this so maybe I’ll talk to you later have a great day.

 

I didn’t think much of the conversation, all I cared at this point was my husband’s safety. I made several phone calls to the state police, and I didn’t get anything in return. I even went as far as going to the court to get a protection order on him because of his safety (which I explained everything to the judge) and they were supposed to take his guns away.

October 11th:

I received several phone calls that day from my husband. It consisted of I love you hunny, we need to talk, you are my number one and all of that. I was just glad to hear his voice. I between the phone calls I was still talking to state police. They told me they were going out there as soon as they can.

Last phone call 12:46pm –

Husband: Baby we need to talk

Me: About what? Are you okay?

Husband: no, I love you. I’m sorry I hurt you so much.

Me: I love you too and you have hurt me.. I don’t know if I can forgive you from this but I will always love you.

**gun shot**

I was left on the phone, hanging no answer from him after I yelled his named over and over. No answer. I hung up the phone and dialed the state police told them what happened and supposedly there was a state trooper over there already.

My husband committed suicide on October 11th at 12:47pm. It took two hours for a family member to find him. He had stuck the gun in his mouth and had a phone lying next to him, the last phone call was to me. My life has changed, will never be the same. I miss him, I love him.

Please don’t take your loved ones for granted. Find forgiveness. Love them with every moment you get with them. I wish I had done that.

 

 

 

 

Comments

comments

25 Responses to “A Wife’s Heartache. . .”

  1. Jennifer Mathis says:

    That must have been the hardest thing to go through, I’m not even going to pretend to understand your pain, I am so sorry. And I hope grace learned a lesson from all of this.

  2. [email protected] says:

    I’m sooo sorry..I idol u for ur courage… Strong women that’s what we are..Woman are like tea bags… the hotter the water gets the stronger we get..

  3. fattyfatmama says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss… This broke my heart and even though i dont no you im trying to stay strong for you…. I will pray for you and your family. … May GOD HEAL YOUR BROKEN HEART. … PLEASE STAY STRONG AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU. ..

  4. jamie says:

    I cant even image what you are going through. I am praying for you and your kids. may god heal you, help you, and just be with you and your babies.

  5. Dizzy says:

    Oh my goodness. I am literally crying for your family. I don’t know what I would have done. You are a strong woman! Hug your babies tight. I am so sorry for your loss, for your pain. Sending my love and positive energy for your familys healing.

  6. Rachel says:

    Omg I don’t even kno where to start..this is so heartwrenching :(

  7. MRS. Mason ;) says:

    Reading your story brought so much clarity to the reason as to why I wake up each morning and remember to forgive my husband for what he’s done. The description of your husband’s words and actions hit the nail on the head for emotional turmoil, which is so similar to the state my husband has been in for quite some time in many ways. I am so sorry for your loss. I have been faced with my husband’s self torture and physical harm he brings onto himself when feeling low (and close to losing all he has) and could not imagine what life would be like should he really commit suicide. I forgive each day for this very reason, for I know that he too hurts over what he’s done.

    Thank you for sharing your story. You will forever be in my daily thoughts and prayers.

  8. Becky says:

    Why did they find him two hours later when a state trooper was already there?

    Regardless, I am terribly sorry for your loss. I hope you find peace within your heart and family. Sending prayers your way.

  9. Kyra says:

    Thank you so much for sharing. Im sorry for y I your loss. Things like this are the reason I think this site is more damaging than “helpful” Not this post but others could push people over the edge

  10. I am so sorry for you, your children and actually the homewrecker.

  11. Tonya Driver says:

    :( OMG how sad. god bless

  12. Kris says:

    So sad. I am so sorry for your loss. You are so strong to be able to share your story. I couldn’t even imagine.

  13. So sad says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you, your children & family. I’m sure it wasn’t easy sharing your story but thank you & thank you for reminding us that forgiveness and love are very powerful! Take nothing for granted….
    I was recently put in a situation when my husband cheated on me & the other woman’s husband took his own life when he found out about affair :( so sad because no one really knows what infedleity inflicts on others…..

  14. Kelz says:

    I usually come here and read the stories of these homewreckers and it always makes me laugh, not the story itself but some of the comments made but this particular story is absolutely heartbreaking. I am so sorry for everything that you have been through and hope that some day you can find peace for yourself and your children. God bless and remain strong

  15. Annie says:

    i felt like I was reading my life story… Im sorry you had to live that.

  16. Murathi says:

    Pics or it didn’t happen

  17. Patrice says:

    This reminds me of my husband and I. I was the “Grace” in this situation. The wife was clear across the country, she didn’t want to move with her husband (at the time) who was in the military. As soon as she got pregnant they started fighting and she moved back in with her parents. And he moved to where he was stationed. They lived like this for over a year. He was always so faithful to her, and he’d tell me things that he’d put up with about her, etc. Finally she found out through mutual friends that we were hanging out, no sex or anything except hugs and the occasional tickle fight (like brother-sister).
    Anyways. She filed for divorce accusing him of cheating. He was devastated and had no way to get out to court to fight it due to his being in the military and getting turned down. Even though the court paperwork stated that neither party was to say hurtful or demeaning things about each other, due to the fact that they had a child together and the welfare of the child is paramount. She did it anyways, making meme’s all over Facebook and continues to do so years later.
    Since their divorce we went to couples counseling with my church to see if we could negotiate going from friend-zoned to something real (that’s just the way I role).
    Was 1 month too soon? Meh. I didn’t care back then, they hadn’t seen each other face to face in the same breathing space for over a year, they lived about 2,000 miles apart. It’s not like they were used to each other’s company or anything. At any rate, as soon as we got married she sent him a nasty graham in the mail, saying that he will never meet his son, ever. He went into depression yet again. He continues to pay child support, and honors her wishes to stay away. But she continues to pull all this crap talking using full names.
    At one point he ended up calling a veteran suicide hotline cause I didn’t “get it” and told him to journal his feelings until we could find him someone to talk to.
    Why she continues this for over 3 years is beyond my imagination. Why we haven’t gone to get a restraining order, well… Mainly cause we don’t want to give her the negative attention that she’s obviously begging for.
    Point is, I don’t know whether I am the home wrecker, she is, or him. What’s done is done.
    But, sometimes we can be our own worst enemy through insecurity, jealousy, or self doubt. Please love yourself enough to be patient with yourselves and each other. Once people are comfortable in speaking up and taking what the other person has to say, communication can happen. But, when things get hostile due to penning things up inside, we lose sight of our goals of growing old together and hiding each others false teeth in the freezer.

  18. Liz says:

    WOW!! You’re story truly is sad. I pray for you and your babies. You shouldn’t feel any guilt you did your best as a wife . I hope with time the pain will get better, but I understand things like this are hard to forget. My husband also cheated and I too have two little girls and everyday is a struggle. God bless you and your little ones.

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