Please keep this anonymous. I found out several months ago that my husband had an emotional affair for a few months. He broke it off and told me all about it and answered every question I asked of him. He has since been to therapy every week and our marriage has never been better. I talked to the woman who he had an affair with and basically told her to leave us alone (she was still trying to contact him). I tried to contact her husband to tell him all the details that I knew of the affair but was unsuccessful in finding a cell number for him. I did find a phone number of one of his family members and spoke to that person. This relative said that knowing him (the home wreckers husband) he would not want to know anything about the affair. I still feel it’s important for him to know that he was deceived. Also, the home wrecker is a teacher and when I recovered messages from my husbands phone I noticed that she was sending messages almost all day long while at work. So my two questions are… Would you contact her husband to tell him the details about the affair? (I was thinking I’d write a letter and send it certified mail) Would you contact the home wreckers employer to let them know about her texting while working?
I would like to share my story anonymously if that’s okay.
I’ve always wanted to tell my story and reading so many inspirational stories has finally given me the courage. I feel it will be therapeutic as well. Before anyone reads this please know I did get my happy ending. This story doesn’t end bad.
It all started when I was 16. I met who I (thought) was my first love. He was 18. Most popular boy in school. Every girl had a crush on him & wanted to be with him except me. I didn’t care much for him. I was quiet and shy myself. Sometimes I wondered if I was a conquest or a game to him. He started sitting with my friends at lunch trying to weezle his way in I suppose. I honestly thought it was annoying at first and I turned him down several times. Months later I finally saw something and gave in I suppose. I was also a virgin up until this point also. I knew he had dated many girls. Even at the mall together once a female came up to him and said “a new one already”. I was angry and hurt, but believed him when he said she was just jealous. Remember, I was only sixteen and I was easily manipulated and trusted everyone. I should have saw the signs, or so I thought. I didn’t even sleep with him for months. I made him wait because I didn’t want my first time to be with just anybody. I believe it was seven months later when we had finally had sex (and it was months after constant pressure).
A month later he broke up with me for another girl. We’ll call her JS. And the funny thing is WE had met JS together through mutual friends so she knew he had a girlfriend. She’d met me. I was devastated. I was young and tried everything to get him back. Four months later he asked me back out. Said him and JS had broke up. I believed him. Come to find out they didn’t. He was dating us both at at the same time. I confronted him. Asked him for proof he broke up with her since he said it was through text messages. He said he deleted them. Of course. She ended up breaking up with him once she found out and I stayed. One part I forgot to mention was I had been on birth control the entire time we were dating. The depo shot. Since he was my only, when we had broken up I didn’t go back to get my shot. I knew I was not going to sleep with anyone else and didn’t want to waste money on something I didn’t need. Within a month of us getting back together and before my appointment to go back for my shot I found out I was pregnant. I was petrified of telling my mother. Her and I had never been close and have always had a rocky relationship. I was still in High School. I did not work. I did not have a license or a car. I had no idea what I was going to do.
I wish at the time one person would have given me any positive encouragement or at least told me it was okay that I wanted to keep my baby but instead my mom and my (ex) boyfriend both said I had to give the baby up for adoption. My mom threatened to turn him in since he was over 18 and I believed her. The ex, well he was just a jerk. Said we were too young to take care of a baby and it was the best thing. I believed him. My mom ended up kicking me out and I moved in with him. It was miserable. I saw texts between him and JS and knew they were still hanging out again. Not only her now but several other girls. I confronted him and he broke up with me again. Let me tell you – Living with your ex while you’re pregnant and have nowhere to go is the most depressing thing in the world. He would leave most nights to hang out with other girls. I knew what he was doing. But I needed him. I loved him. Or so I thought. We would constantly break up and get back together over my pregnancy. The entire time while living with him. The last few months it seemed like things were better. We found an amazing couple to adopt my son and it would even be an open adoption. I was happy with that. Deep down I was heartbroken over what was to come but because everyone had convinced me it was for the best I believed them.
I ended up graduating from High school. I spoke about my ex in my graduation speech. He never showed. I ended up giving birth in August to my son. Placing a child is the hardest thing I have ever done. I literally felt like I was dying. I cried for two days straight in the hospital. My ex spent the night with me at least but left us alone during the day to “go with friends.” He never even cried once. I left that hospital with empty arms and I prayed this would make our relationship stronger. Prayed It would change him like it had changed me. I grew up so much.
11 days after giving birth his cousin had a “house party.” We went together. I just needed to get out of the house since I had been laying in bed for weeks crying. There we met AW. A new homewrecker. She talked to us both. I showed her photos of our birthson. She seemed nice. My ex at one point disappeared and come to find out.. With her. While I was there at the same house. He left me again for this new girl. I was so heartbroken. It was like going through two at once. I couldn’t stand living in the same house anymore. Watching him text her. Watching him sneak away to call her. I begged my mom to let me move back in because I was emotionally devastated and I was done. Few months later we get back together again. (I know). When am I going to learn? I get pregnant again. He tells me I have to abort it because if I keep this one everyone will hate me for keeping this baby and placing our first. He said we couldn’t do another adoption so soon. So I saved an entire month’s paycheck (and he didn’t pay a dime) and I took the pills. I fell asleep that night and woke up bleeding everywhere. I ran to the bathroom and got in the tub, crying as I miscarried. I was 18. I was all alone because as it so happens he was gone again. With another girl while I was at his house passing our child through my body. I don’t know what finally made me snap that night but my entire life just fell into my lap. This was not the life I envisioned for myself. These are not the things I wanted. I wanted to be a mother. I loaded up all of my belongings and left him the very next day.
My happy ending: I am now in a relationship with a guy (I had come to believe never existed). He is the definition of perfect. He knows everything about me. Visits my son with me. Takes me on dates. Buys me flowers. We have been together four years now and this is the man I am going to marry. I never even knew I could have happiness like this. The ex has been trying to get me back for years but I will never speak to him again. He is a monster. Do not settle for anything less than you deserve. It took me years to gain my self confidence back because it had been absolutely shattered. I will NEVER AGAIN stay with anyone who cheats. Someone who loves you would never do that to you.
I want to be Anonymous. So, my son’s father hasn’t seen him since September 11-2014. When he told me I can keep him all the time. I’ve been reading up on things found out that him and his wife had a miscarriage that day. Plus another one down the road. We haven’t really spoken to each other at all. When we do it always ends up in a argument over something. My son is 5 years old now. I learned that they are expecting in August and having a little. I want my little boy to know his real dad to be apart of his sisters life. I’ve sent them Christmas cards pictures of my son. Text him happy Father’s Day with a couple of pics of my son. He did reply to that. I wanna get them something for the new baby to show that I care and I’m happy and excited for them. But, how do I do that when he or she don’t speak to me or even see our son that we have together? I need help!
I need help!! I’m away from this man now thank God but here’s my story….
Please keep my identity secret. My ex fiance is a cheater, meth user, has beat me & emotionally abusive & used to kid all the time about stalking me if we ever broke up. He has harassed me to the point I had to get an order of protection. His first wife had to fill one out also. He’s a convicted felon & is still on felony probation. We broke up about 3 weeks ago & I find out he was cheating on me with his ex gf. Also a meth user. In the past 18 months, I had to have a partial hysterectomy, my brother was killed in a fatal car accident,my son was almost killed on his way to the prom in a car accident, I had to have knee surgery, my grandma died over Christmas & now I’m having to deal with a belligerent meth head who’s mad I served papers on him. When we moved in together, I brought all my furniture with me. He had nothing. So we get to the hearing in court for the order of protection I filed on him, I told the judge I just want my things & that’s it. My ex told me several times I could come get it but when I did he wouldn’t let me have it! He told the court it was his bc I didn’t have receipts! Today I found out he sat alot if my things outside. But not everything. Worst of all it was today I found out who he was cheating with bc when I went to get my stuff with the officer who always goes with me,his dope headed ex stuck her head out the door while the officer was explaining to my ex that I was getting my stuff. I loved him. Was faithful to him. Despite the beating & cheating,which he denied of course. This man really hurt me bad. My only wish us that everyone could see him for the piece of sh*t he really is! This man beat me in front of his 12 year old son! I hate him!! What’s the best way to deal with this?
Can I be kept anonymous? I need advice. I have been having problems with my husband since we first started dating. We got together while in high school. It all started with a message he saw on my phone that was sent to 1 of my then friends (guy) that I had gone to school with since elementary. It was just regular convo since we went to different high schools and we never hung out out of school. Message was just asking how I was doing and what I had been up to and then the guy said ok well love you take care ttyl and I replied love you too but in a friend way never had I been interested in him or him in me.
Me and my now husband were just 3weeks into our relationship when he saw that and I didn’t even know he had gone through my phone. I explained to him I didn’t like the guy that he was just a friend from school and I never thought of him any other way. That’s when everything started he started talking to this girl that he claimed he never liked that she was the 1 interested in him but he didn’t want nothing to do with her that he just did it to get back at me for what he had seen on my phone. This went on for 4 years in and off until 1 day I left him while pregnant with our first son since I saw he kept looking her up and asking her family member a about her. We then got back when my son was around 2 months old I still didn’t move back with him until almost 1 year later when I had our second child my daughter was 6months when I moved back with him in 2014. Everything was good he came up with this “you don’t talk to no guys or add any guy on any social media and I’ll do the same”. So I didn’t since I love him and wanted everything to be good! That didn’t last long tho. Some guy I’ve never met messaged me on Instagram and I didn’t even know the conversation was saved. He saw it and flipped out. The guy messaged me saying that he was sad he was fighting with his gf and that she treated him bad and I said wow that bad! Guy went on to asking me what kind music I liked and I said all kinds and I did tell him I had a boyfriend that I didn’t want anything with him and that’s when the convo ended. My husband saw that and broke my phone! He replaced it same day but after that he got “revenge ” he started locking his phone and I knew something was up so I went through it while he was asleep and found out he was talking to this other girl and I messaged her and she said she had no idea he had a gf and kids. That morning I confronted him about it and he said he did it because of the message on my Instagram from that guy I didn’t even know! He stopped talking to her he said he didn’t even like her that it was to make me mad!
That was in 2015. After that we were good for along time til recently it all happened 1 month ago I was scrolling through fb watching make up tutorials and I came across a girl that did really nice make up but when I tried looking for her fb name nothing came up I scrolled through comments and found Instagram name that was also no longer active and then I found a sc name I added her to see if her on snap chat and see if she had her social media account name on there. Well when I opened the Video she had on snap chat it was like watching a porno nothing compared to what I had saw on fb. And he also saw it and made a huge deal about it I told him, what I thought It was going to be about and he still didn’t believe me. He kept asking is I was a lesbian or bisexual and I said no! He dropped it after a week and that’s when I found out he started re-adding women he hadn’t been friends on fb since he came up with the idea of not having females or male friends on our social media accounts. I asked him why he did it and he said it was to make me mad about what he had found on my phone recently. I had him block her. I recently saw he kept messaging numerous #s that he didn’t have save and I thought 1 looked familiar from a women he had messaged before so I called it private and hung up right away didn’t even wait for anyone to answer. He asked me why I had called that # private I lied at first because I thought he was going to get mad but I ended up telling him the truth. He deleted me off all his social media. We had just started to talk again from not taking since last week Thursday. Then last night he saw I had liked a picture on Instagram from last year(2016) of 1 of my friends husband n their son she wasn’t in the picture and he started accusing me of like it because of the guy! I told him I didn’t I did it because of their son and he still kept arguing it wasn’t because of that. (I already had her and her husband on Instagram as friends since before he came up with the no adding guys rules) and I’m not a person to go after a man that is married! He took my phone and found a # on there that I didn’t even know I s had from a coworker that was dialed last year(2016).
I never gave that person my# and the only reason it would be there is because our supervisor sent a message to everyone in our team to let ask who would like to receive messages incase work was slow and we could just get time off that day. Message said to replay yes and our name so I’m guessing that’s how that person got my #. My husband call it and no one answered this was at 4am today and still kept accusing me of like the guy on Instagram and now cheating on him with the person who had call me from work last year! He took my phone and my truck and then came back and told me to act like it had never happened. He gave me my phone back and 1 hour ago he sent me a message about how much it cost to get divorced. I love him and don’t want to get divorced over something so dumb! I’ve never cheated on him! What should I do help please. Sorry for long story but in need advice I’m 23 years old and he’s 26 we have two toddlers together and recently moved into our own home and now all this is happening?😔
Wondering if I could share my story and some advice to women who have been cheated on? Thanks!
I wish I would have found this page 10 years ago! At this point I feel it’s too late to expose the many women my now ex-husband was with!
Here’s the shortened version of my story: Shortly after tying the knot with my ex 12 years ago, I found out he had a pornography addiction. He convinced me that it was normal and that every guy did it; I had nothing to worry about! Soon after that, he needed more. He started messing around with several of his coworkers and contacting other women through porn sites. At one point, I found out that he had contacted a 17 year old high school student in Kentucky and was sharing nude pictures with her! He even had a threesome in the alley behind our house while I was taking care of our 3 month old son! Since I wasn’t like the women he got off on in his porn videos, he had to find someone who would fill his desires! He is in the Air Force and I found out through phone records he was talking to and picture sharing with other women at 3:00 A.M. while he was out of state going to technical school for a few months. The pathetic part was that I was constantly the one initiating sex and getting turned down! I have always been athletic and taken care of myself, even after having kids! Anyway, one of these “women” came forward and told me she was having a full-blown affair with him, which he denied at first and even threatened suicide over if I wouldn’t forgive him. Every time I forgave him, life would be fine and dandy for a few weeks but then it would fall apart all over again!
At a young age, I was taught divorce is not an option! But here’s the thing: When you are faithful to your spouse and fighting to save a family that they don’t care about, it ends up wearing you down! Eventually your children will see that you are not happy!
I just want to say something to the women who have been cheated on: There is life after divorce! You are worth so much more than you know! DO NOT stay with someone because you think they will change or because you have children with them! And don’t just blame the “other woman”…..your spouse made a conscious decision to cheat! Mine used to say “he was raped” every time I found out about his infidelity!
I am now happily remarried. My current husband is the most amazing man I have ever met and loves my children as his own! My ex? He is miserable and blames me for his life being horrible. Karma is real!