My ex boyfriend was sleeping with this homewrecker for three weeks before I found out. Right before Christmas. I had been with him for 9 years. We had split up about 6 years ago and were split up for about a year and a half before we got back together. He is my sons father so of course we stayed in contact. The reason we split up before was because he cheated on me. I swore I would never take him back. But stupid me I did. We had occasional hook ups when I would go out and drink (which I no longer do) but most of the time I would fight with him about being a father, cause he sucks at it. I never let myself get attached to him it was just occasional hookups. He would call me and tell me he missed me, blah blah blah. I would pay him no attention because I knew what I wanted. But as soon as he found out I was with my best friend is when he really started playing the head games. One time he called me up to tell me he was having a baby and I was hurt. I cried on the phone with him. I cried knowing the little amount of time he spent with my son would be spent on his new child. I was so hurt by it. He would send me pics of the ultrasound and I just wouldn’t respond. He would send me messages that its a girl and they were going to name her Brookelynne which was the name I wanted for my daughter, if I ever had one. Just stupid stuff.
Later down the road he called and told me he loved me and missed me and that he knows I still care about him and love him. I argued saying that I have paid him no attention to even think that. He then told me he knows because I cried about the baby and then admitted he made it all up just to see if I still cared. He sent me a pic with the date of the ultrasound and it was like 1991 or something, apparently he had found the pic at work. Crazy right. About six months later his mom called me and told me a crazy situation of some guy coming to her house threatening to kill him because he had to fire him. This guy was gang affiliated, so gang task members had to come out and take a report. The guy would come by his house and yell and make threats etc and it freaked him out and “made him realize” what’s important in life and from that point he really started to change. At least put on a good front. It took a while but I took him back. I waited a year before we moved in together but that year was an amazing one. I was wined and dined, he was social with my family, he was an amazing father to our child and we did everything together. He moved in and the next year we had our ups and downs but it was still a wonderful relationship. My son appreciated so much that we were a family again. We talked about marriage and another baby, about our future etc. Then I had to take short term disability for four months because I have neurological disorder that really impacts my life but most the time I am able to cope. I wasn’t working and he was really jealous of that even though I was bringing in more income on short term then he was. He would get mad the house wasn’t clean even tho I had 12% muscle strength in my neck and nearly was bed ridden for four months. There was never any empathy for my situation, never any help around the house just complaining about me not doing anything. I honestly did my best. I spent 7000.00 seeing specialist to avoid a 2nd brain surgery and because of the pain at times didn’t want to live anymore. He never understood it.
After I got better and went back to work it went down hill from there. I was doing my very best to make our relationship was work. But that’s just it I was the only one working on it. He seemed angry all the time and I don’t know why. He spent our money on frivolous crap, like 1000′s of dollars. Spent all of our Christmas money. Mind you I gave him a 400.00 budget a month to buy whatever he wants to keep his shopping problem under control. Even though he was doing all this and acting different I never felt he was cheating. We worked opposite schedules and on his days off he was home. But one day I got that feeling to look through his phone and there she was. Of course I didn’t blame her at first and I still don’t put all the blame on her. He is the problem. It was our relationship not hers. I read through as much of their text as I could while he was in the shower. She would say things like “you need to come cuddle me booby, you never cuddle with me, I miss you.” as I read further and further. “is she home? Where is your baby mom at? did she come home yet?” UM what.!!!! But when I text her I was still polite cause of course he’s to blame. She asked who I was and I told her I was his girlfriend and the mother of his child her response was “ya right” and then asked my name, so I told her. I said what do you mean ya right we live together and were just intimate last night. She said “oh I thought it was someone playing a joke on me”. Are you 12, seriously. I asked her how long it was going on and she wouldn’t tell me. She said that I need to ask him. Of course I went crazy. Not as crazy as last time. Last time I threw all his crap in my front yard, wrote on all his air forces with permanent marker, broke all his cd’s, ripped all his pictures and then put everything in a pile and burnt it all up. I was arrested so I kept my cool this time. He denied everything. I told her he is denying everything and that obviously she knew about me. She said she did and knew that one day we would have this conversation “cause I’m not dumb” is what she said. I wanted to rip her flippen face off and stab him. But kicked him out instead. He wouldn’t leave so I gave him a 30day notice. I packed up all his crap, everyday he would unpack it, I cleaned my toilet with his toothbrush everyday. It was the hardest thing to deal with. I put a lock on my room, stored my important things away and did the best I could to deal with this while my son was grieving that his dad was leaving. It was incredibly hard. But finally he left. After he left I blasted him on his fb.
I still am so angry and still want my revenge on the both of them. I so wish karma worked fast. I guess he got a little karma, he was sleeping in hotels for a while and couch hopping until 2 months after I kicked him out she moved out of her mommy’s house and they moved in together. She got him a phone too because he couldn’t pay his phone bill by himself. I just think its disgusting that they don’t even know each other and they moved in together. She lets him drive her car and he has no license, she gets him a phone its sick. But as sick as it is its not my problem. He is not my problem anymore. He drained me financially which is no longer an issue, he was another child that I had to take care of, pick up after etc. The hardest part of all this was seeing my son go through it.
Since he has been gone, about four months he has seen my son 5 times. He will call him for like a week and then won’t call for a month. I have yelled and screamed and said everything under the sun to him about being a better father. Comforting my baby as he cries himself to sleep at night cause daddy won’t talk to him or see him is the hardest thing as a mother. Even though I am content with being single I am still sooooo angry. He doesn’t deserve to be happy and neither does she. I hope that’s a normal feeling. Everyone says he will do it to her and I hope he does but is it wrong to want him to do it now? I want them both to hurt. I want him in physical pain for every tear my baby has shed and her in emotional pain for every tear my baby shed. One day this anger will subside but for now its there only when I talk about it. Thanks for reading everyone.
"Jessica Nickell Oregon ",