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Michelle Bilbao Anaheim, California

The day after New Years 2014, I found a phone in my husband’s shoe (rolled up inside the tongue of his work shoe). In the phone he had the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen. I scrolled through all 78 pictures, and most were nudes of this troll with her shameless ass posing for the camera. There were even some of her with an exploding penis in her mouth…it didn’t look like my husband’s penis,(the pubic hair was blonde), so I’m guessing there’s also another woman being cheated on by this troll aside from myself. Every picture had a time & date & when the picture was taken. 90% of the pictures were taken by his phone. He tried to deny that he took the nasty pictures, however; he got sloppy because he caught himself in the mirror of one of the nastiest pictures in a Vegas hotel. He also captured his traveling bag on the bed next to her posing like a dog in heat. He had pictures from 2010 to 11/22/2013.

According to the phone evidence, he’d been seeing her for four years and at least three times a week at her house before or after work, or on his trips to Las Vegas! It turns out she lives a mile from his job and they work in the same office! As you can imagine, I was sick to my stomach, because my husband and I have been together for 27 years and married for 25. We have two beautiful daughters. I was oblivious to his extra marital affair. Of course I always wondered, but I had never caught him, until 1/2/14. Our sex life was rocky only because he would tell me he couldn’t have sex due to his hernia operation he had 10 years previous. But we did have sex like any married couple did. I also came to find out that both my husband and the troll frequented swinger’s sites where they met strangers for sex. They pretended to be a married couple with an open relationship. He called himself George when his name is Ray. I immediately went to the doctor to get checked for STD’s/AIDS..Thank God almighty I’m clear.

As the story unfolded, I felt like I was in an LMN movie! Needless to say, I took all his s*** and threw it outside for him to pick up and leave forever. He refused to leave. He said he loved us, his family, too much. He swore to his mom the dirty troll meant nothing to him. He promised to never speak to her again and blah blah blah. I researched where she lived and worked, so I waited a few weeks to surprise my husband at work (something I’ve never done). Sure enough, I caught them having lunch as if they had not a care in the world. You should have seen my husband’s face when he saw me. Immediately he swore he was telling her it was over and blah blah blah. I asked the troll why she liked seeing married men, and she replied that my husband is her “f**k buddy” and had been for the past 15 years! She rambled on about how she’s divorced and how she gets hers and my husband gets his (sex-wise!) This is why I call her ugly; she’s ugly inside & out. She had a smirk on her face that said: “boom I got your boyfriend, boom I got your man.” I also found out that this b**** in heat went to my daughter’s Sweet 16 under the pretense that she was someone else! Our daughter means the world to my husband. Anyone that knows him can vouch for this. My daughters and I will never forgive him for such shamelessness! All his family has also met this shameless Ho, but pretend it’s none of their business when I’ve been nothing but sweet to all of them. I despise them all except for his Aunt who knows me well. Had I known then that she was having an affair with my husband, I would have swept the floor with that mousy hair! If he can let an insignificant w**** rub her evilness in our innocent faces, he’s not a true man. Because of this troll’s disregard for my family, I want the world to know the face (or ass in this case) of true evil.

My husband is still in our home under constant surveillance. He kicks and screams about it, but ultimately remembers that he folded his cards the second he decided to include me in the Scorned Woman’s club.

 

 

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comments

128 Responses to “Michelle Bilbao Anaheim, California”

  1. Unchained says:

    laughing at the bottom pic – shirtless hubby taking the picture…what a dumbass. And I don’t even want to know WTF that stain on the seat is *shudder*

    I don’t know why the blue hell he is still in your home, under surveillance or not, after an affair spanning several years though. I dealt with a longtime affair situation too…. not that long though! and we are divorced. It isn’t the end of the world and in fact is the beginning of real LIVING. Who wants to waste their time conducting surveillance and live with someone so contemptible the rest of their lives, waiting for that inevitable other shoe to drop? You can do better, wife!

    • I agree, I can see a 1 time affair happening and him saying it will never happen again. Then the wife giving him one more chance to work there marriage out!!. But 15 years I can’t see him stopping. Maybe a few weeks or even a few months!!. But after that I can see him running back to his mistress!!. Especially when he took his other woman to meet his family!!. Please dump his ass, and find better!!. There truly is great guys out there!!. You can do soo much better then this loser!!.

      • Meth Kills says:

        Taking a w**** around the family is ratchet. None of my side ho’s even know where I live

        • mailman is here!! says:

          I was a mail carrier for 25 yrs, and I banged 70% of the wives on my route, and when families moved out another wife would move in, it was better than the bar scene and I got paid to do it HAHA. The other 25% were still happy with their husbands and the last 5% probably hated men. Good times for all!!!!!

          • Meth Kills says:

            Right on my man. When I was young and delivered pizzas, same thing. Horny, lonely housewives

          • Louniece says:

            You are PERFECT! You are nothing but a piece of meat. NICE. Keep your cock hard and your mouth closed. When I’m done…..get the f*** out of my sight.

  2. dymondpearl says:

    Damn she’s funky looking!! What was you’re husband thinking ??

  3. Betty says:

    You are still with him? He’s had an affair with the same ho for 15 years. Good luck with that. You’re keeping him under constant surveillance…and they still work at the same place. Ok, I understand you don’t want to throw away 27 years. I wish you the best.

    • JR says:

      No kidding. Under surveillance. Yeah, that will work out.

      • I know cheaters in Potosi WI and Dickeyville WI ( and Thompson IL and Elmhurst, IL now) says:

        Get a way to monitor his computer to see deleted messages. They might set up a side phone or a side e-mail account. Start doing some surveillance research on the net. Your husband is an accomplished liar and deceiver, I am sorry to say. Now you have to think like him. He will lie to your face without a blink of an eye. Now instead of dealing with him honestly, you have to deal with him like a liar and now you have to think like one.

        • Meth Kills says:

          Is it really worth the trouble??

        • T-Storm says:

          Don’t put yourself through all that anxiety, stress, etc. by spying on him. You are just hurting yourself and delaying healing. Why bother? What else do you need to know? The cat is out of the bag. You know what you already need to know and then some. It’s done, unfortunately. You have to divorce and move on. It will be very painful, but eventually you’ll be glad you did. I already know he is still seeing her because you said he was upset over the surveillance. If he was truly remorseful and stopped seeing her, he would be an open book and not mind it. I would get a little revenge some way, then say, see ya! He will get what he deserves. Half of that relationship’s excitement was because it was secret and taboo because he was married. It’s probably already gotten more stale. It has been stale for awhile probably because they’ve had to had sex with other people to have any excitement. Clearly, she’s ok with that because he was sleeping with you when she met him. This relationship will go down in flames more than likely. Get rid of him, move on, focus on yourself and your daughters, and laugh when you find out they split up or when they get an incurable case of herpes from their group sex

          • I know cheaters in Potosi WI and Dickeyville WI ( and Thompson IL and Elmhurst, IL now) says:

            I agree with you. Why should the Wife have to resort to thinking like a liar? I hope the wife when the time is right and she is stronger that she let her sweet nature out to attract a real man who will respect and love her and never want to hurt her. I feel so badly for the wife.

  4. Messwithmymanikillu says:

    Ugh what a pig skank! Dear God have mercy! She’s wearing a USPS shirt! If she works for the post office she can be fired for this but so can your husband. If I were you I would report them to the post master. Let them both get fired. He’s a skank just like her. I wouldn’t let him touch me with a ten foot pole. If they were screwing ppl they hooked up with on swinger sites, I would not even consider staying with him. Seriously if you trust this guy for a second you need your head examined. You should throw him out and let him go with the garbage HW, they deserve each other.

  5. True Mule says:

    you need to dump this gross piece of s*** dear. A(removed)

  6. Emma Nymphadora is a Delusional s***! says:

    Wife, I wish you the best. An affair of 15 years is not “nothing”. Your husband is just saying what you want to hear. He will wait for things to cool down and resume his cheating. He’ll just find a different strategy so he won’t get caught again. I hope I’m wrong. Always be on the lookout. Get your husband tested for STD. I just have to say this s*** looks hideous.

    • I know cheaters in Potosi WI and Dickeyville WI ( and Thompson IL and Elmhurst, IL now) says:

      I think you are right, Emma N. The cheater in my life was buying time and cooling things down — going to counseling, “talking”, taking walks, etc. All the things that would me think we were making some type of progress. All LIES. All LIES. He was being nice to me to get money and to keep me placated so he would not have to deal with me because he had to deal with his w****, her husband, and his kids (who hate the w****).

      Wife, like I said before you will need to think like a liar, which will be hard for you since you are not one. Good luck.

  7. dave1234ca says:

    To the wife: Congratulations! Don’t be discouraged by what others say.

    While some may point to the length of time the affair has been going on it’s proof your husband had no intention of leaving you. They have been fu@k buddies for 15 years. The only question that needs to be asked is, “How were the last 15 years?”

    Did your hubby treat you well? Obviously he was discreet so the theory men do it for an ego boost doesn’t apply in this case. He certainly didn’t do it to hurt you if he kept it under wraps for 15 years.

    With 27 years invested and assuming he treated you well you made the right decision. I don’t agree with having posted your story, however. The reason being there will be people, family and “friends”, who will attempt to persuade you to leave him. Don’t listen to them! They will poison your marriage.

    You know what you have. A good man who had a friend. That’s all. His loyalty was to you as evidenced by having seen her for 15 years and still being wit you. I’m sure he had the opportunity to leave you many times but you are where his heart is.

    Be on guard. Not with your husband but with those who offer “advice”. Only you know all the details of your marriage. Only you know if he is a good man. Don’t be swayed. A good word to familiarize yourself with if you haven’t heard it is, Schadenfreude: “satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else’s misfortune”. More than a few divorced in haste but they’ll never tell you they made a mistake.

    You probably have grandchildren or will soon. You are entering a new chapter in your life. That man has been your companion for 27 years.

    Best wishes to both of you and while what I’m about to say may not garner much sympathy he is losing a friend of 15 years. He is suffering, too.

    • Messwithmymanikillu says:

      What a crock of s***! Dump his lying cheating ass and get yourself tested for STD’s. Show your kids this is not acceptable behavior. No woman deserves to be treated the way your husband treated you. Holy Cow! You want a friend get a dog. Your husband is a dirt bag!

      • At least dog’s are loyal!!!. Just saying!!. :)

        • Messwithmymanikillu says:

          Exactly! Her husband would not know the meaning of the word loyal. They are married for 25 years and for 15 of them he has been screwing this pig along with swinging and screwing other pigs as well. 15 years is a long time to be a dirt bag! Dump his scumbag ass and get a big dog and if he tries to get back into your house let the dog attack him. Please do it!

          • some one who knows the what she is leaving out says:

            well not gonna say he is not a pos… but this so called upset wife….was once the homewreker… he was previously married with two boys until she waved her ass in from of him..and he left them for her…not just that….her oldest daughter might even be from his brother…she kept it in the family if you know what i mean….shes been married for 20 something yrs??? wow…her family only seen her about 7 times within them yrs… aunts uncles cousins??? they didnt even know she was around and never met her before.. she isnt so innocent now is she????

          • dave1234ca says:

            Some One Who Knows The What She Is Leaving Out Writes, “but this so called upset wife….was once the homewrecker… he was previously married with two boys until she waved her ass in front of him..and he left them for her..”

            Going by what you wrote, “waved her ass in from of him” and the 3rd picture with the chair one thing is clear. The man loves ass. I wonder if the OP turned him on to ass. Not “ass” as in the general sense, referring to sex, but specifically ass. Maybe he discovered he is a back door man and couldn’t get enough.

            That might also explain that while he had sex with his wife he wasn’t overly enthusiastic. Maybe vaginal sex wasn’t his bag.

            All this can be explored in counseling. Maybe he wasn’t making love to Michelle in the conventional sense, meaning vaginally.

            I pose a question to those who say the wife should dump him. “If it was discovered he is a back door man would that be a mitigating factor in favor of the wife forgiving him?”

          • His Oldest Daughter says:

            @ “someone who knows what she is leaving out” LOL you obviously don’t know s***! What the f*** kind of twisted mind do you have? It’s funny how you and the other dumb s*** “someone who knows” have so much “credibility” but won’t say who you are. Well I’ll tell you who I am, this is his OLDEST DAUGHTER or according to your dumb ass “his bros daughter” haha. If you’re going to state facts, please have correct info. 1. My mom NEVER knew about the woman he was with because his lying ass said he lived with his mother & when she found out she was already pregnant with me 2. He was NEVER married before my mom, look it up in public records 3. She’s been around way more than 7 times, your stalking skills are off. 4. His mom took care of me and my sis and my mom would pick us up so please explain how no one knew who she was. 5. Which brother did my mom sleep with? Please do tell me, I’d really like to know who my real father is LOL go to wal mart or something and buy us that take home DNA test so you could prove your “point.” You’re f****** stupid!

          • Angrywifeshowsherwrath says:

            @someonewhoknowswhatshesleavingout: Everyone had a good laugh at your pathetic attempt to smear my reputation. I must admit, we needed a bit of humor to lighten up this f*cked up situation. From what you wrote, I take it he deceived you too? Let me make it perfectly clear: I DID NOT know he had a girlfriend when we first dated. Come on, after all these years, you think I’d lie about something as insignificant as that? Additionally, I’m his first & only wife unless you can prove otherwise. Our marriage certificate is public access, so research it, post it, & expose the years we’ve been married. Not that I give two shits what YOU think. He had a son, which he provided 18 years of child support for, as he should have. I even encouraged him to see his son as much as possible, although I never knew if he did or didn’t. My husband told me the 2nd son wasn’t his. He told me his ex girlfriend made that up to try to keep him. As a matter of fact, one night we were at a night club & his Ex came up to us and said “If she’s pregnant she shouldn’t be drinking.” I asked my husband who she was, & why she thought I was pregnant. He told me he had to tell her I was pregnant so she’ll leave him alone. Ask his Ex, I’m sure she remembers. Now how the f*ck was I suppose to know he was lying to me then?At that moment she should have told me everything she knew, because I would have dumped his ass on the spot. Everyone who knows me well, knows I was never desperate enough to take another woman’s man intentionally. If you knew me then, did it look like I needed help finding a man in my teens, 20’s, or 30’s? Be honest…My biggest faults are that I’m gullible, naive & trusting. Even today in my mid 40’s, I’m too trusting & I refuse to give up hope that there’s good genuine people still out there.

    • Anne says:

      he is losing a friend of 15 years. He is suffering, too.????

      Are you mad Dave this was a marriage with daughters not some vice club.

    • toni says:

      Go fuckyourself dave.

    • toni says:

      You are suffering too dave from denile. I know coming out at yourage can be tough but you have a good shemale and he will help you. Good luck you jackoff.

    • Layla says:

      Now Dave you know darn well that friends don’t screw each other, this man was in a sexual relationship with this woman for 15 years, I doubt if he is going to be able to turn this off like a light switch, especially since they still work together and live in the same town. I won’t judge this woman for trying to save her marriage, but considering the circumstances and longevity of this affair, he is not worthy of it.

      • dave1234ca says:

        Anne writes, “Are you mad Dave this was a marriage with daughters not some vice club.”

        Layla writes, “this man was in a sexual relationship with this woman for 15 years, I doubt if he is going to be able to turn this off like a light switch,..”

        He has been seeing this woman for 15 years. How are his daughters going to know if his wife didn’t know for 15 years? I asked the wife how the marriage was for the last 15 years.

        Here’s the point. If they had financial problems for 15 years or arguments for 15 years or he was drunk for 15 years then, yes, throw him out. If the marriage was good why would she toss that away on the hope she will find someone better? A miserable, argumentative drunk? Who knows? Who is going to care for her daughters like the real dad? And, God forbid, what about the men who are specifically seeking women who have daughters???

        Fifteen years. What were those years like? That is the only question that needs answering. There’s no concern about him leaving her for someone else. They’ve been together for 27 years. That puts her around 50. How many great 50 year old guys are out there? What changes will she have to make to her life if she divorces and gets another man? How welcome are the daughters going to feel?

        I Hate Lying Bitches writes, “I don’t see what that could be but, again, it is your choice if you want to live a life where your husband prefers to f*** the side ho and makes excuses to not have sex with you.”

        The OP wrote, “But we did have sex like any married couple did.

        All too often people divorce and life is not what they think it’s going to be. Was she happy until she found out? Does she want to “start over”? Sure, adjustments have to be made now that she knows but what adjustments will have to be made if she divorces? If the daughters are the age of maturity she won’t get any child support so everything will be divided. There goes the house and that’s just the beginning of the changes. Everything about her life will change and if that life was good it’s not to her benefit to throw it away.

        • Anne says:

          I am surprised your wife can put up with your view on marriage crazy.

          • dave1234ca says:

            Anne, for the first 10 years of marriage I could count on one hand the number of times she wasn’t “in the mood”. Whether it was a Wednesday night at 11 pm or a Saturday afternoon at 2 pm. We both enjoyed sex. What is there not to enjoy about it?

            Then she went through menopause early. She wasn’t “in the mood” but we still had sex. Sometimes she’d orgasm, sometimes not. As she said sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t but she didn’t just stop because she wasn’t “in the mood”.

            As I’ve always said there are things we do for our partner whether or not we’re in the mood and what is easier than going to bed? One doesn’t have to have a raging orgasm to enjoy it or both orgasm at the same time.

            It’s the whole package. The hugs and caresses. Who doesn’t like a hug? Who doesn’t like to be caressed? Who doesn’t like to just lie in bed beside their partner?

            I’m not talking about doing acrobatics between the sheets. She has said that men who do not get sex at home will either get it somewhere else or become resentful and spiteful towards their wife.

            Is it worth it to deny ones partner a bit of time? It just doesn’t make sense to me. What is the big deal about it? Obviously I’m not going to expect her to comply if she’s half way through making dinner or just going out the door to the mall.

            I’ll ask a few direct questions. Why would you refuse? If you were watching TV or just surfing on the computer would you say you’re not in the mood? What happens if you’re not in the mood? What makes it undesirable? Is it you just don’t feel like it or is it physically uncomfortable? Do you feel sex should only be engaged in when you can’t resist any longer and it’s something to avoid if one is able to resist?

            Those are serious questions.

            I’ll give you an example. Two summers ago I was cutting the lawn around 10:30 Saturday morning and I saw my wife standing in the garage motioning for me to come see her. She didn’t want the neighbors to see her in her housecoat so she stayed back from the door. I thought perhaps there was a phone call for me so I shut off the lawn mower and went to see what she wanted.

            She said she was going to have a shower and asked if I wanted to join her. The lawn was 1/2 cut. I had not been thinking about sex until then but you never saw a man push a lawn mower in the garage as quick as I did!

            So, that’s what I mean by being in the mood. Doesn’t getting in to bed and holding each other get you in the mood?

            I’d appreciate your answers. Does sex ever not feel good?

            Thanks.

        • Anna Snow says:

          @dave1234ca…….Dang dave,there you go spreading that manure around again….did you pick up a toxic waste permit for that?

          • dave1234ca says:

            Anne, you’re avoiding my questions. Share your feelings with us. What makes having sex so difficult or disagreeable assuming two people love each other?

            Is it a simple matter of just not liking sex? Do you think it’s dirty? Do you think we’re born with a predetermined number of times one can have sex so you want to be sure you have a few times saved just in case? Are you haunted by a bad experience?

            There has to be a reason because human beings are designed to enjoy it. Our bodies are flooded with endorphins when we have sex so I’m wondering if it’s a physical problem or an emotional one.

            People who don’t like sex are missing out on one of life’s greatest pleasures, if not the greatest pleasure. It should be cause for concern for anyone.

            In the words of Dr. Frazier Crane, “We’re listening.”

          • ScorpioStings says:

            I don’t see how your questions relate to your overall message – I have to assume that you’re mentioning all of this drivel once again because you’re relating it to the story the OP has told. If that’s the case, go back and read the story – the CHEATING HUSBAND has been denying the FAITHFUL WIFE sex for 15 years, using a fictitious medical condition as his excuse. You go on to tell the betrayed wife to sweep it under the carpet because her husband has been a good husband but then turn around and say that it is unacceptable for a mate to withhold sex from his/her spouse. You are here for one thing – to make excuses for cheaters and justify their affairs. You are so transparent and that is why so many of your ridiculous statements get voted down here. The sad part is that it’s quite obvious that you actually believe the bullshit you spew here while simultaneously thinking everybody else is so blind to the truth.

            The truth is that despite the fact that they have loving, loyal spouses at home, there are MANY serial cheaters out there – dishonest, selfish, self-centered, narcissists who fail to exercise self-control due to an overwhelming sense of entitlement to do what they want as long as they’re not getting caught. You seem to fit that description to a tee, Dave.

          • Anne says:

            In the words of Dr. Frazier Crane, “We’re listening.”

            Sorry Dave I did not see you usual rant to me but to answer your question.

            He did come home with STD and had to ask me while i was cooking dinner for our four sons, do you have a RASH, I looked at him and asked why, he had to advise me on our doctors orders he had STD if not I would be notified by our doctor. Now Dave does that answer your question in regard to your “We’re listening”

          • dave1234ca says:

            Anne, that must have been quite a shock. I will say in your husband’s defence he certainly was a man by taking the chance to tell you while you were cooking dinner. In the vicinity of pots and pans and hot items and, perhaps, a large knife he threw himself upon your mercy.

            I understand ones reluctance to have sex after hearing that news. Are you still together?

            Regarding my other post I was wondering about people who haven’t dealt with a similar situation. A couple who are faithful to each other and one just losing interest.

            My take on it is as a couple grow older they both lose interest compared to when they were in the early 20s but if one initiated it the other would become aroused. One may not be in the mood to cater to their partner. They don’t feel like giving their partner a massage, for example. I understand that but if their partner does not expect them to do any “work” why wouldn’t they enjoy it.

            In other words what is not to like about their partner touching them? What is the imposition? That is what I don’t understand. Does the person feel they will have to aerobics or do they just not like the experience?

            Thank-you for sharing. It is the only way we can get to know each other and, by extension, understand each other.

          • Meth Kills says:

            I think the thrill wears off when you are married. When you date, the next is exciting, the next sexual encounter is exciting.

            Sex greatly diminished during the period of time I was married, always an excuse, tired headache period, blah blah.

            Single, you call them up, if it’s a no, call the next one, someone is always willing!!

            #single life

          • Meth Kills says:

            You never know, EVER

          • dave1234ca says:

            Meth writes, “Sex greatly diminished during the period of time I was married, always an excuse, tired headache period, blah blah.”

            I’ve been there, done that with my first wife and I was not going to go through that again. That’s why when I remarried I made it clear sex was the priority. It’s been 18 years so I guess I got my message across. :)

            I did a lot of dating over the 10 years between marriages. I became quite adept at spotting the ones who truly liked sex and the “others”.

            As we frequently hear, “Don’t settle.” Wait for the gal who truly wants you.

        • Katie says:

          Okay Dave….. while I absolutely do NOT agree with your first post, about the husband losing a friend, and feel that it is a load of bullshit because he never should have had THAT “friend” to begin with, I do agree with the overall points about the woman having everything to lose by tossing him out.

          But… do you really think anyone would think a marriage was good if he’d been cheating? Granted, she was in the dark and had no idea, but it obviously wasn’t good, as she mentioned the sex was often as she would have liked and he lied about a hernia.

          Aside from the sex issue, being kept in the dark (ie: thinking it was a good marriage by omission), is not okay!

          Yes, your points about what she has to lose is valid. Maybe those things are important enough to her to keep her trying to save the marriage. She is the only person who knows the answer to that.

          As a person who has been married to a serial cheater for 27 years (together 24, now separated for 3yrs), I can tell you that it’s a living HELL!! I tried to make it work, and hang on to all the material things, etc. Those things don’t make up for the lost dignity or respect. I lost everything, my home, my lifestyle, my kids were uprooted, etc… and it hurt like hell… but in the end, it is really HE who lost it all. Material things mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.

          Just my two cents.

          • dave1234ca says:

            Hi Katie,

            A couple of points I’d like to address. Frist, you mentioned he was a serial cheater so I assume you became aware of each affair. In other words you dealt with one, reconciled, then had to deal with another. An on-going process, if you will. That’s different from having to deal with finding out one time whether that one time involved numerous occasions or a ONS. It would account for the loss of respect and dignity you mentioned. You dealt with one. He did it again. You dealt with that. He did it again…..

            The second point I want to mention is when someone lives with an alcoholic they also feel a lack of dignity and respect along with being humiliated by their partner when in company. One is “taught” to deal with that through support groups. They have to separate the actions of their partner from themselves.

            As for the woman losing everything I’m not referring to just material things. She has been with her husband 27 years. I assume the majority of her adult life. (When we reply to these stories we have to assume certain things unless advised otherwise.) Getting rid of ones partner is like quarantining ones memories.

            For example, when her children buy their first home any conversations regarding that will stir memories of her and her husband. The same applies to the first grandchild. Any and all things that involve the participation of a coupe will bring back memories of her husband and what they did. That’s why I question remarks by those who say there will always be triggers that will remind them of the affair if they stay with their partner. There will be many more triggers that will remind them of what they lost if they leave their partner. It is ultimately beneficial to people if they resolve the situation favorably. Otherwise, bad/sad memories will continue to arise.

            We see the evidence on this site. Those who split are still bitter compared to those who stayed and worked it out. While both camps have bad memories the memories of those who stayed drift in to good thoughts as the ultimate outcome was better.

            I don’t recommend staying for the benefit of the partner who strayed. I recommend staying for the benefit of the injured party. That’s why I encourage people to look at the big picture.

            I hope you find an acceptable solution to your marriage. It’s never too late to re-think things.

      • ScorpioStings says:

        Well, well, well – Doctor Dumb…I mean Dave strikes again with more of his idiocy. Here we go with the assumption that the wife was withholding sex again. Let’s blame the betrayed spouse because it’s the only logical explanation when a man cheats on his wife. Did you read this article, Einstein? The OP stated that her husband on many occasions made excuses about why HE couldn’t be physically intimate with her. Apparently HE was the one who “wasn’t in the mood” for 15 years. Your advice to this woman flies in the face of the theories you’ve stated both here and elsewhere on this site, Dave. You see, by your own assertions, the fact that this man was regularly withholding sex from his wife is grounds for HER to go out and cheat on him. The fact that he made excuses indicates that SHE was the one showing interest in being intimate and HE was the one shooting HER advances down. He robbed her of the intimacy she was entitled to as his wife so by your own standards that makes him a failure as a husband. Frankly, that bullshit about not finding somebody better is exactly that – BULLSHIT. I mean, this guy has been carrying on a long term physical affair for 15 YEARS, putting her health at risk by not only having sex with this woman but also with other couples they’d meet on “swingers” groups. The OP never had a say in any of that – he robbed her of her voice and choice. That’s not how you treat somebody you love and that is not the mark of a moral man. That is the mark of a selfish, irresponsible, serial cheater who lacks the type of respect and self-control it takes to be a safe and good partner. To me, there’s a lot better out there for her – she’ll never know unless she tries. Furthermore, her level of happiness in the marriage over the past 27 years is immaterial at this point. It’s her level of happiness NOW that truly matters. Is she happy that the “happiness” she’s experienced over the past 15 years was actually ignorant bliss? Ignorant of the fact that her husband was lying to her and cheating on her, going so far as to humiliate her by parading his “friend” all over town even posing as a married couple with her? Also, what do his daughters have to do with this, Dave? He will still be their father AFTER a divorce. Not every father runs off and abandons his children after mom kicks him to the curb for being a colossal disappointment. I know that’s probably hard for you to imagine given your *ahem* situation.

        • dave1234ca says:

          Scorpiostings writes, “go back and read the story – the CHEATING HUSBAND has been denying the FAITHFUL WIFE sex for 15 years,”

          No, he did not. Go back and read the story especially this part. “Our sex life was rocky only because he would tell me he couldn’t have sex due to his hernia operation he had 10 years previous. But we did have sex like any married couple did.…. I immediately went to the doctor to get checked for STD’s/AIDS..”

          BUT WE DID HAVE SEX LIKE ANY MARRIED COUPLE DID. Plus, why would she run to the doctor to be tested if they didn’t have sex? Talk about bullshit. You don’t even know what you’re talking about and as far as my questions are concerned they were addressed to Anna. I am trying to find out why someone wouldn’t want sex or say they are not in the mood. What is there not to be in the mood about?

          What I’m picking up here, not just from this story but on the site as a whole, is it’s quite natural to not be in the mood for sex and I’m trying to find out why? Why would someone not be in the mood assuming they are not busy at that particular time? I said I don’t expect someone to stop in the middle of making dinner to have sex or after getting dressed, doing their hair, etc., and prepared to go shopping to get undressed and jump into bed.

          I do not make excuses for affairs. Excuses, as in plural. If there is sufficient sex at home there is no excuse for an affair and I’ve said that many times.

          You wrote, “The truth is that despite the fact that they have loving, loyal spouses at home, there are MANY serial cheaters out there – dishonest, selfish, self-centered, narcissists who fail to exercise self-control due to an overwhelming sense of entitlement to do what they want as long as they’re not getting caught. You seem to fit that description to a tee, Dave.”

          I agree there are people who are serial cheaters. Dishonest, selfish and self-centered. There are also dishonest, selfish and self-centered people who make up excuses no to have sex or simply say, “I’m not in the mood.” I can’t think of anything more selfish than to refuse ones partner using the excuse I’m not in the mood. And too tired to go to bed? Is that a joke? The reasoning is absurd not to mention the selfishness involved and the self-centeredness. “I don’t feel like sex and you can’t have any either, with me or anyone else.” Who is going to tolerate that? What loyalty would anyone owe to a person who treats them like that? If you asked your partner to do something and they sat there and replied, “I’m not in the mood and you can’t do it either”, what would you do? What would be your reaction?

          As for fitting that to a tee I made it clear when my partner and I got together what was important to me. I was not looking for a cook or housekeeper or someone to do my laundry. It was years after we were together before we married and two months after getting married my wife said to me, “Nothing changed. Nothing is different.” Being a career gal and independent she envisioned I’d change and try to tell her what to do. But nothing changed. All I requested from her as a partner was sex. Maybe that’s why we’ve been together 18 years. I don’t run her life. I’m not the typical dominant husband. All I ask for is sex. Everything else is a bonus instead of the bss ackwards idea dinner and laundry are priorities and sex is the bonus. That idea is absurd. Its lunacy.

          My wife has told me she knows if a man does not get sex at home he will get it somewhere else. She is educated and intelligent. She’s held responsible positions in charge of a large number of people. She’s seen human behavior. She does not delude herself and she has told me I make a great husband. I don’t pick at her like some husbands do or tell her what to do or otherwise make her life miserable. Sex and I’m happy. What woman wouldn’t want me?? Well, I suppose those who don’t like sex.

          And try to get it in your head I did not say a lack of sex was the problem in this specific case. Try reading for comprehension. My questions regarding sex were directed specifically to Anna but if you wish to reply in a civilized manner I’ll consider what you write.

          I have never once said I supported the OP’s husband. Again, get that block of wood out of your eye preventing you from seeing what I actually write. As for staying with him, yes, I think she should consider the whole picture. He has been having sex for 15 years and not one STD. I think that’s more than luck. I’d say he used precautions. Second, evaluate the entire relationship. Was she generally happy? Were the children happy? Did they have a nice life?

          Lastly, regarding my situation I’m the last parent standing. At least not required to lean on something. My children know exactly what transpired between my Ex and me as I had a notarized agreement drawn up when we split. None of this he said/she said nonsense. They know it was her idea to destroy the family and she eventually destroyed herself, as well. My children are adults now. They can draw their own conclusions. She got everything she wanted but in the words of Mr. Spock spoken to Captain Kirk, “Sometimes wanting is better than having.”

          • ScorpioStings says:

            Dave writes: “No, he did not. Go back and read the story especially this part. ‘Our sex life was rocky only because he would tell me he couldn’t have sex due to his hernia operation he had 10 years previous. But we did have sex like any married couple did.…. I immediately went to the doctor to get checked for STD’s/AIDS..'”
            Dave, YOU need to read that quote over and over again until it sinks into your pea-brain that he WAS in fact denying her sex. Obviously not ALWAYS, but she called their sex life “rocky” because “he would tell me he couldn’t have sex due to his hernia operation he had 10 years previous.” That means on many occassions HE WOULD TELL HER THAT HE COULD NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER. What part of that don’t you understand? Do you realize what an idiot you make of yourself here as you draw at straws to validate the actions of the offending parties?

            “I am trying to find out why someone wouldn’t want sex or say they are not in the mood. What is there not to be in the mood about?”
            That’s a good question. Why don’t we ask the OP’s husband who you’ve defended throughout this discussion. You are full of contradictions.

            “Why would someone not be in the mood assuming they are not busy at that particular time?”
            I’m not busy right now and I’m not in the mood to run around the block even though it would probably be great for my heart and waistline. Sometimes people just aren’t in the mood. That doesn’t means it’s never going to happen. To expect your “needs” to be fulfilled at the drop of a hat whenever you make a demand is silly and childish. To suggest that it’s grounds to go out and have an affair, risking your unsuspecting partner’s health, is selfish and delusional. You minimize the threat of STDs. You mentioned that over the course of 15 years, he never brought anything home to his wife so “he must’ve been taking precautions.” The reality is that he was just lucky. It only takes one time with the wrong person. STDs like herpes and HPV can be transferred even with the use of condoms. Most women don’t even know they have HPV because it often presents no symptoms and leads to aggressive cervical cancer. I’ve heard and read so many stories about unsuspecting wives who’ve been infected with herpes and HPV from their scum bag husbands – too many for you to be able to convince me that it doesn’t happen often.

            “I do not make excuses for affairs. Excuses, as in plural. If there is sufficient sex at home there is no excuse for an affair and I’ve said that many times.”
            I’m still not buying this, Dave. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – this is just an excuse for to justify the actions of a person who fails to exercise self-control and proper boundaries. This story is a case-in-point – the wife WANTED more sex and was getting fed a line of bullshit from her husband who was telling her he couldn’t give it to her as much as she wanted it. Instead of communicating with his wife and telling her he wanted to live a swingers lifestyle, he went out and found a “fantasy wife” who would go along with it and have no expectations of him. In this case, much like most cases of infidelity, the WAYWARD spouse is the one with the problem. Failure to function properly and deal with day-to-day issues that crop-up in EVERY marriage in a healthy, emotionally intelligent, and mature way.

            “I can’t think of anything more selfish than to refuse ones partner using the excuse I’m not in the mood.”
            Then why are you defending the cheater in this story? Furthermore, you attribute this “I’m not in the mood” excuse to too many instances of infidelity. You have no solid proof that this is such a pervasive problem. We’ve already talked about the research – only 8% of men have affairs due to a lack of quality/quantity of sex at home. Most men do it because they think they can get away with it. My spidey sense tells me that’s exactly what motivated the cheater in this very case.

            “Who is going to tolerate that? What loyalty would anyone owe to a person who treats them like that? If you asked your partner to do something and they sat there and replied, “I’m not in the mood and you can’t do it either”, what would you do?”
            This argument is so weak, Dave. Let’s indulge your stubborn side for a moment and say this IS such a pervasive problem – if it’s so intolerable why not leave the marriage? I know what you’re going to say, “the rest of the marriage may be great” or “that’s easier said than done when you’ve built a life together.” If the rest of the marriage is so great, then it’s worth exploring different potential solutions rather than having an affair. You don’t owe anybody your loyalty – just remember, they don’t owe you any in return so when the lid is blown off your affair and the blade drops on your head in divorce court, don’t whine and cry about what a rash move it was. Essentially, your solution to an “unfair” act on the part of the betrayed spouse (withholding sex) is to commit an equally unfair act – an affair. When a bomb detonates, do we fix the damage by detonating another bomb? That’s ludicrous. That leads to war – divorce court. If sex is really a problem in the marriage, husband and wife should be getting therapy – not seeking it from external sources. The fact that you see any kind of logic in having an affair due to sexual issues in the marriage indicates that you are a grade-A moron with no common sense and certainly shouldn’t be giving relationship advice.

            “I have never once said I supported the OP’s husband. Again, get that block of wood out of your eye preventing you from seeing what I actually write.”

            Bullshit. You think you’re fooling anybody? You’re thinly veiled support is demonstrated here:
            “You know what you have. A good man who had a friend. That’s all. His loyalty was to you as evidenced by having seen her for 15 years and still being wit you.”
            This woman was not just the cheating husband’s “friend.” The fact that you minimize what’s happening here is very telling – you’re suggesting that the wife sweep all of this under the carpet because her husband didn’t leave her. There’s something wrong with you, Dave. Really. This is NOT a good man. This is a liar and a cheater who put his wife in harms-way without her knowledge. She may have THOUGHT the last 15 years were happy but that was until she found out that she never really knew the man she married. He lied to her, betrayed her, and put her at serious risk for FIFTEEN YEARS. The fact that she is physically okay is truly a blessing and a miracle considering how many people he has no doubt slept with. He’s proven he is untrustworthy. Trust is one of the fundamental building-blocks of any relationship. The fact that she can no longer trust her husband because of HIS actions is very telling and so is this:
            “Be on guard. Not with your husband but with those who offer ‘advice.'” How could you possibly tell her NOT to be on guard with her husband, you fool?

          • dave1234ca says:

            ScorpioStings, she wrote, “BUT WE DID HAVE SEX LIKE ANY MARRIED COUPLE DID.” Those were her words. Do you want to pick apart what married couples do? Are we to try and determine to what type of sex she’s referring? Maybe he couldn’t engage in regular intercourse but oral was fine. Do we know? No, we don’t. It isn’t specified. If the wife insisted on intercourse and he found it painful but the wife refused oral which he enjoyed that means both were lacking sex. Do you get it? God, I have to explain everything to you like a kid. Maybe he found the physical actions of intercourse painful but desired another form of sex.

            I am not full of contradictions. Pick up a book called the Kama Sutra and then we can talk about sex. There is more to sex than the missionary position. Was he comfortable doing it doggy style but the wife wasn’t? We don’t know.

            “You wrote, “I’m not busy right now and I’m not in the mood to run around the block even though it would probably be great for my heart and waistline.”

            You must have quite an active sex life if you compare it to running around the block! Try using a reasonable comparison. What activity would you find too strenuous or time consuming that involved going to bed? What legitimate reason can one give for refusing to go to bed assuming they are not involved in an urgent matter at the present time? One reason other than they’re just not in the mood. Talking about contradictions one can’t outdo a person saying, “I love you”, followed by “I’m not in the mood.” But the one I like the best is when a person says they’re too tired to go to bed. That has to be a classic.

            You ask if the lack of sex is “so intolerable why not leave the marriage?” I ask, if having sex with your partner is so intolerable why not leave the marriage? Many people stay married and they are not interested in sex with their partner. Why don’t they leave? There are a couple of answers. They might find release in masturbation or they have no need for sex and are content with the current arrangement. They are doing what they want and denying their partner what one has the reasonable right to expect. So, why don’t they leave? They must know they are not in a “proper” marriage.

            As far as discussing the lack of sex if one does not know when their partner desires sex then they are dead. I don’t believe for a moment there is one married person who, should the lack of sex occurred, did not mention it to their partner. Did they get into lengthy discussions or belabor the point? Probably not. Either the reason is straight forward (illness, anger, etc) or the height of selfishness. Even if the person is not the mood or doesn’t feel like it if they can’t oblige their partner by doing something as simple as going to bed there’s no love there. If they can’t do that then they couldn’t care less about their partner.

            I’m not defending the husband but I’m also not going to condemn him without knowing ALL the facts. Obviously he was a good enough man to stay with for almost 30 years, 15 of which he had an affair. Was he wrong to have the affair? Yes. Is the best solution to divorce him? Not necessarily.

            We can speculate on how many women he had. Isn’t it strange that over a 15 year period he never found one worthy of dumping his wife? So, the obvious thing to do is seek counseling. In all other regards it appears he has been a good husband. Maybe it needs to be explained to them by a professional how to adjust to the circumstances.

            Does the wife desire a type of sex he finds painful? That seems like a good place to start. What type of sex did he practice with the other women? Is the wife willing to try that? If the wife accommodates him is he willing to give up swinging? Are both of them willing to give it a try? Marriage reconciliation, that is. Not swinging.

            By the wife posting on here it appears she’s not ego driven so that is a good point. She can make an honest evaluation without considering what others think. That is a very good starting position and I can not over emphasize that. This marriage has a good chance of surviving and becoming stronger.

            What the husband did was wrong but only the wife can determine if he was a good husband in all other aspects and so far it looks like she already has and I support both of them. She lived those 15 years and maybe, just maybe, he’s such a good man that his indiscretions pale in that light. We not only have to ask how many women could try to forgive a man for doing what he did but how good a husband he must be in order for his wife to consider it. But perhaps that’s too deep for folks like yourself.

          • ScorpioStings says:

            “Maybe he found the physical actions of intercourse painful but desired another form of sex.” Again, with some crazy hypothetical you’ve constructed in your mind. The OP’s comments were very clear to anybody that can process written words intelligently – they had sex…when her husband WASN’T making excuses about why he couldn’t.

            “I am not full of contradictions. Pick up a book called the Kama Sutra and then we can talk about sex. There is more to sex than the missionary position. Was he comfortable doing it doggy style but the wife wasn’t?” This isn’t why I accused you of being “full of contradictions.” You really are a moron, Dave. Go back and re-read my response – I find it tiresome to keep dumbing this down for you even further. I would, however, like to point out that you are again making assumptions about the break-down in the sex here. Taking the entirety of this story into consideration, sex was NOT painful for this man – being monogomous was. As evidenced by not only his long-term SEXUAL affair with Michele but also his dalliances with other couples. This man wanted no-strings, uninhibited sex with multiple partners. It’s just a shame that he didn’t have the courage to communicate that to his wife. Nice try, Dave.

            “You must have quite an active sex life if you compare it to running around the block! Try using a reasonable comparison.”
            The reason I compared it to running around the block is because, like you, I view sex as an important, vital, and healthy part of life. Having an active sex life is tantamount to having a healthy life in general just as exercising regularly is tantamount to living a healthy lifestyle. Sometimes, you’re just not in the mood to exercise. Sometimes you’re just not in the mood to have sex. It happens and it’s nothing to be ashamed of nor is it an excuse for a spouse to go out and cheat. If one partner is CONSTANTLY uninterested in sex, then there IS a problem. As I’ve said before, do we clean up the devastations caused by one bomb by detonating another? No. We address the problem TOGETHER as a couple – “we NEED to be physically intimate regularly. You NEED to get help for your lack of interest. If you do not, we need to start discussing either opening up the marriage to a third party or divorce.” Plain and simple, Dave.

            “What legitimate reason can one give for refusing to go to bed assuming they are not involved in an urgent matter at the present time? One reason other than they’re just not in the mood.”
            I understand what you’re saying here and I actually agree with you. The problem I have with this is that it is your end-all, be-all explanation for why affairs happen. You attribute this to just about every instance of infidelity when it is in all actuality responsible for only a very small percentage (8%) of affairs. This is the problem I’ve had with it ALL along. Furthermore, you use it as a justification for having an affair. It’s not. There are things that a frustrated spouse can put on the table prior to making such a bold and destructive move. As research has PROVEN, most times those steps are never taken and instead, an affair is initiated.

            “I don’t believe for a moment there is one married person who, should the lack of sex occurred, did not mention it to their partner. Did they get into lengthy discussions or belabor the point? Probably not.”
            Research has proven that in the small amount of cases in which sex is actually the problem, the vast majority of men NEVER mentioned it or communicated that it was as big of a deal as it actually was. Just because YOU don’t believe it, doesn’t mean that it’s not a reality. Men suck at communication. They feel as though it will open up a greater dialog in which they have no interest in engaging. Furthermore, I don’t see how complicating things even more by risking the damage caused by an affair could be more favorable than engaging in a “lengthy discussion” about a lack of sex in the marriage. This is where you justify affairs. Maybe there IS something wrong with the partner who lacks interest. I read about one guy who started an affair because the sex in his marriage was becoming stale. He never asked his wife why she didn’t want it. She would try to talk to him about things that were weighing heavily on her mind, but he didn’t want to talk. Eight months later he found out that his wife had cancer and that she’d been suffering a tremendous amount of pain during the time that the sex tapered off. At the same time, she found out about his affair and left him to recover in peace. She ended up healing both physically and emotionally and moved on to a new partner. The man is currently alone and miserable wishing he’d communicated with his wife so he could have been there for her during HER time of need. Proof-positive that a lot of hurt and pain could have been avoided if both partners turned to each other and communicated at length what was weighing heavily on their minds rather than pulling apart and dealing with marital issues on their own and in their own ways.

            “Obviously he was a good enough man to stay with for almost 30 years, 15 of which he had an affair.”
            I call bullshit on this. The only reason she stayed with him for that long is because she DIDN’T KNOW about the affair. That doesn’t make him a good man. It makes him a selfish, lying, troll who’d conciously put somebody he claims to love in harms-way by opening up the possibilities for her to contract any number of STDs. A “good enough” man would have been up-front and honest with her, “Honey, I’m interested in x, y, and z and I really want to explore it.” He took away his wife’s voice and choice. That’s NOT a good man.

            “Isn’t it strange that over a 15 year period he never found one worthy of dumping his wife?”
            He dumped his wife everytime he lied to her and snuck away to give his affections to somebody else. It’s not strange at all – he had his cake and he was eating it too. Why would somebody THAT selfish risk losing the comfortable life he’d built with his clueless wife? I mean, do you really buy the bullshit you sell, Dave?

            “What type of sex did he practice with the other women? Is the wife willing to try that? If the wife accommodates him is he willing to give up swinging?”
            Dave, the type of sex he practiced with the other woman WAS the swinging. That’s what he wants. It had nothing to do with the position or the physical comfort – it was the variety and the illicitness involved in the sex he was having. I can save them a ton of money on counseling by saying – either wife joins in on the swinging or she should move on to something/someone that satisfies her needs/wants more than her husband. Obviously she wants monogomy and he wants variety. That would be fine had he just TOLD her that when he realized that’s what he was into – she had a right to know.

            “This marriage has a good chance of surviving and becoming stronger.” Unfortunately, I disagree. I think that right now she’s still in shock and awe and that’s why she hasn’t left. At some point she’ll grow tired of trying to tame the wild beast living with her. The constant surveillance is no way to live. Eventually she’ll grow the courage to walk away once it becomes emphatically clear to her that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks and a leopard never changes its spots. This man is a serial cheater. He is selfish, dishonest, and entitled. Plain and simple.

            “What the husband did was wrong but only the wife can determine if he was a good husband in all other aspects and so far it looks like she already has…”
            I agree that it’s completely up to her. Where I disagree is that things will get better for her unless she accepts the swinging. He’s not going to change. I also disagree with your hunch that she’s determined that he’s been a good husband – she’s only just begun to process this. It’s only a matter of time before she walks and it WON’T be because of anything anybody has said here.

            “We not only have to ask how many women could try to forgive a man for doing what he did but how good a husband he must be in order for his wife to consider it. But perhaps that’s too deep for folks like yourself.” It comes down to respect. Anybody who can lie to and betray somebody they claim to love is, by virtue, NOT a healthy and good partner. He may be a nice guy but that doesn’t make him a safe partner. I know plenty of “nice guys” who are complete scumbags. Unfortunately, people like you can’t separate the two concepts.

          • dave1234ca says:

            SS: “The OP’s comments were very clear to anybody that can process written words intelligently – they had sex…when her husband WASN’T making excuses about why he couldn’t.”

            That can be determined with counseling and a physical examination. I put forward a plausible reason. For either of us to draw a certain conclusion is irresponsible.

            SS: – “I find it tiresome to keep dumbing this down for you even further…….Taking the entirety of this story into consideration, sex was NOT painful for this man – being monogomous was.”

            If sex wasn’t painful and he liked sex with different people and, presumably, different ways why would he refuse sex with his wife? It doesn’t make sense unless he was unable to perform the type of sex his wife preferred. Again, you lack basic common sense. A guy who likes sex to the point he has sex with a number of people will want to have sex with his wife unless there is a specific reason and he specified he found it painful, a logical reason which you summarily dismiss without any evidence.

            SS: “This man wanted no-strings, uninhibited sex with multiple partners.”

            If that was the case he would have had sex with his wife. Again, you’re the “researcher”. Show one case where a swinger does not want to have sex with his wife. Your arguments are absurd and you refer to me as a moron. It’s obvious who the moron is which reminds me to an old joke. There was a big moron and a little moron on a roof and he big moron fell off. Why didn’t the little moron fall of? Answer: Because the little moron was a little more on. :)

            SS: “The problem I have with this is that it is your end-all, be-all explanation for why affairs happen. You attribute this to just about every instance of infidelity when it is in all actuality responsible for only a very small percentage (8%) of affairs.”

            That is complete bullshit. Affairs involve sex. Yes, some are just so-called emotional affairs which is nothing more than two people talking. I’m referring to a regular, run of the mill affair. Sex happens every time. In a hotel/motel, in someone’s house, in a car, in the park, in the supply cupboard, behind the pallets in the warehouse…name it. Emotional reasons, financial problems, the kids acting up, the dog is sick….please, nothing more than reasons to placate the partner. I can hear it now, “Honey, I prefer banging Ms. Bridget to banging you.” There goes any hope for that marriage reconciliation.

            SS: “There are things that a frustrated spouse can put on the table prior to making such a bold and destructive move. As research has PROVEN, most times those steps are never taken and instead, an affair is initiated.”

            Of course those steps are seldom taken. People do not want to negotiate for sex. Picture a couple at the kitchen table each holding their daily planner.

            Husband: How does Tuesday night look?
            Wife: Tuesday? Eh,….OMG, NO! It’s the season finale of NCIS. What about Wednesday?
            Husband: Wednesday? Well, it will have to be a quickie because Revolution airs that night and you know I love sci-fi shows. Hmm, let’s see. Thursday we do grocery shopping and Friday is my card game. Hey, what about Saturday afternoon?
            Wife: Saturday afternoon? Are you crazy? I’m not having sex in the middle of the day! What type of woman do you think I am?

            And on it goes. The question is what was their sex schedule when they first met? Who was the first one to say, “No”? Or “Not now”? Or “I have a headache”? Or “I’m not in the mood”? Was sex planned the first few months/years they were together or was it more a case of they couldn’t keep their hands off each other?

            There isn’t anyone who doesn’t know when their partner desires sex so the person who refuses or plays hard to get is at fault. It’s as simple as that. Nothing more complicated and if there happens to be complications the onus is on the person with the complications to make a straight forward case.

            “I’m not in the mood” is just a polite way of saying, “FU. You aren’t worth ½ an hour of my time.” And it in no way compares to working out at a gym as you tried to make the comparison. Good grief, that was idiotic.

            SS: “ Men suck at communication.”

            No communication is necessary. What communication was involved when they first met? What is there to discuss about going to bed? Who goes first down the hall way? Who goes up the stairs first? Who gets into bed first? Nothing but nonsense. How much communication is involved before the two co-workers head to the back of the warehouse?

            SS: “I don’t see how complicating things even more by risking the damage caused by an affair could be more favorable than engaging in a “lengthy discussion” about a lack of sex in the marriage. This is where you justify affairs.”

            Sex is not a planned activity between people in a relationship. It’s like discussing a surprise party with the person you intend to surprise. Something gets lost. As for affairs people may have a temporary affair until things straighten out.

            Let’s take a marriage where the man isn’t in the mood. (I know people think I always complain about the women so I’ll shake things up a bit.) We’ll say the guy is always working and bucking for that promotion. His lips are glued to the boss’s ass and his wife is neglected. She starts to feel resentment. The husband wants his shirts perfectly ironed; he wants the wife to look after all the house chores, barely talks to her when he comes home as he heads to the home office to do some work. This has been going on for months and he’s explained to his wife the promotion is important and everyone in the family will benefit and….well, basically, FO and leave me alone.

            So, the Mrs. decides she’s had enough of that and seeks someone on Craigslist/Ashley Madison/Wives in Heat/Whatever. Every Wednesday she tells her husband she has lunch with the “girls” but heads to the local hotel. Every Wednesday afternoon she gets all the loving’ she can handle. She arrives home a 4 pm, showers, dresses real pretty and when hubby comes home she is the personification of Betty Crocker. Dinner in on the table and she has a smile on her face you wouldn’t believe. The perfect wife! Hubby is overjoyed, has his dinner, goes into his man cave and does some work. The wife goes to bed alone still smiling. The hubby is so thankful for such an understanding wife. (Shall I continue?) 

            We hear about the affairs that are discovered. Surely no one thinks that’s all of them. Sites like I mentioned wouldn’t proliferate if such was the case. But we have no one to blame but ourselves, as a collective. As a society we have maligned sex to the point it’s made a parody of and highly discouraged from being discussed seriously. At least in mixed company.

            I remember having a female boss back in the early 80s around the time AIDS was first discovered. We were walking through the grounds of a garden apartment complex and she said something to the effect she felt the current generation growing up would have a skewed view of sex considering the TV ads basically saying sex kills! I agreed with her and pretty much said the same thing I’m saying here.

            The beauty of sex, the need for sex to maintain a successful marriage/romantic relationship is lost in today’s society. The best that can be said is it’s a treat and don’t worry about it. It will happen naturally and if it doesn’t, well, it’s not all that important anyway. Don’t let sex be, in any way, a determining factor when choosing a partner. Just don’t worry about it. At least not until you discover your partner is getting something as insignificant as sex from someone else. Then you have every right to be like a tornado through the lives of everyone in the immediate vicinity. Your partner, your children, the grandparents, the other person….destroy, destroy, destroy. Cause as much pain and chaos as you possibly can. You’ll feel better.

            SS: “I know plenty of “nice guys” who are complete scumbags. Unfortunately, people like you can’t separate the two concepts.”

            Speaking of separating concepts your problem is separating the concepts of sex. An affair is such a bad thing but denying ones partner sex is no big deal. That is the misconnect you and others suffer from, speaking of affairs, in general. In this case I strongly advise counseling. If Ray likes sex and is not having sex with his wife they have to find out why. It doesn’t make sense unless he does have pain or his wife is expecting a type of sex he finds painful. Go to counseling and find out why. If he likes swinging it doesn’t make any sense for him to deny his wife sex. There has to be reason. One would think the wife would be interested in finding out even if she does plan to throw him out later on. I know I’d be interested if my partner enjoyed swinging but didn’t want to have sex with me. Maybe I’m too introspective but I’d have to know.

        • Anne says:

          I understand ones reluctance to have sex after hearing that news. Are you still together?

          Well Dave NO I divorced him and now remarried to a wonderful man who puts me FIRST always.

          • dave1234ca says:

            Glad to see you’re happy, Anne. I do wonder though how people can divorce over an affair when they have been together and have children. I guess what I’m saying is it seems to me memories and a bond would have been developed that were stronger than the ability of an affair to pull them apart.

            Maybe the partner who desires a divorce had been pulling away from the marriage long before that news broke. In other words the affair was the final straw as opposed to the only reason.

          • Anne says:

            Any normal person will call it a day when a partner/husband cheats and should never stay for the sake of anyone that includes the children, once the trust is out of the relationship it is finished.

          • realdeal says:

            Anne,
            I am of same opinion.

          • dave1234ca says:

            Anne, trust can be rebuilt. People make mistakes. Under stress people do strange things.

            There are a lot worse things than an affair. Alcoholism, excessive drug use, physical abuse, just being a miserable person.

            How strong is the love? Unless both married as virgins they were with other people before. An affair does not mean they don’t love their partner.

            Why isn’t it worth trying to save the marriage for the children? If it can’t be repaired then divorce but give it a chance. If one really loved their partner I believe they would at least try.

    • hmmmmmm says:

      I must not be a very good friend. I have yet to sleep with any of them. He is suffering? From the loss of a “friend”? If she had been a true “friend” she would have encouraged him to stay faithful, OR divorce, if his wife didn’t want to join the lifestyle he wanted to live (swinging).

    • Annie says:

      Dave,

      When a person cheats on someone, it’s the ultimate sign of disrespect. While he was cheating, did he think about the fact that he could get an STD that could kill him, that he could spread to his wife, that could kill her, leaving his progeny without one or both of their parents? Did he think about how his lying could affect her psychologically? There were years of lies and deceit. Possibly cheating going on throughout their marriage. This one being the only one she knows about. How does she know that she can trust this man? What makes you think that staying with this man for companionship would make her happy? Only she can make herself happy. She cannot rely on him for that, obviously. Keeping him for fear of being alone is just stupid. Everyone dies alone. Who says that she needs a man to be happy? This is a mistake that many make, thinking that they need someone else for happiness. It really depends on her. She may not need him to be happy. You are assuming that a man is the end all beat all for women. Men just tend to be dissappointments. This is coming from a happily married monogamous woman. Don’t feel bad, everyone is a dissappointment. Seems like you’re more worried that HE will lose all that he worked for. Well, he should’ve been honest. While I feel bad that laws are unfair in that regard, he brought this on himself.

      • dave1234ca says:

        Hi Annie,

        Regarding the STDs if he has been swinging for 15 years it’s more than just luck he didn’t bring any home. He most likely used precautions.

        As for her being happy I just suggested she take a look at her whole life. They’ve been together for 27 years and for half that time he has been doing the same thing. What were those years like? Simple question.

        If they were good years and he is getting older maybe he will stop on his own. Maybe she’ll say it’s OK but don’t have sex with me any more. Maybe she will take a lover. Maybe she’ll join in once he explains how things “work”. Who knows?

        It’s been going on for 15 years. Yes, she just found out but that doesn’t mean it just happened. It’s not a new affair where the spouse doesn’t know if their partner is planning to leave or how life will change.

        I know she doesn’t need a man. Having a man is not the point. Having him is the point. How have the last 15 years been with him? The OP mentions a daughter. One day they may have grandchildren. She has 27 years of memories invested in her husband. Does she throw that all away?

        It’s not about getting another man. It’s about keeping the one she has. Would throwing him away be to punish him or help her? That is what many people don’t consider and quite often the angry person ends up hurting themselves by lashing out too quickly.

        This has been going on for 15 years. If she takes a year to think about it does it make that much difference to her life? I would venture to say he loves her as he’s probably had more than a few women to choose from if he’s a swinger.

        My advice is to weigh the pros and cons carefully. Let the info sink in and take her time. There’s no need to rush. Isn’t that the wise thing to do?

    • Danielle says:

      Dave1234 just shut up this man has been cheating on this good woman for 15 years and he is upset about being under surveillance he has no intention of stopping this affair. Wife I am all for saving relationships but his man isn’t going to stop please for your own well being drop him like a bad habit and let her have him.

      • dave1234ca says:

        Exactly, 15 years! I have only one question, “How were those 15 years?”

        That’s what the decision should be based on. How did he treat her for the last 15 years? If they were lousy years then, sure, she has the perfect excuse to kick him to the curb. If they were good years why would she dump him?

        Was he there for her? Was he supportive? She knows he’s not going to leave her. She can certainly depend on him.

        Let’s ask the questions that matter.

        • ScorpioStings says:

          Let’s just recap what we DO know about his treatment of his wife over the past 15 years – so far we know he’s lied to her, betrayed her, and put her at grave risk of physical and emotional harm. Sounds like a real prince among men to me.

          • dave1234ca says:

            15 years of swinging and not one STD. That’s not luck. That’s being careful.

            As I asked how were the 15 years? Assuming the wife never found out how would it have affected her? How would her life have been different up to this point if he didn’t swing?

            All I’m suggesting is weigh the pros and cons. That’s all. Something any rational person does in any situation. Why is rational thought discouraged when it comes to affairs and divorce and one of the biggest changes a person may face in their entire life?

            I often wonder what motives an individual to discourage another from thinking things through, from taking the time to consider all alternatives.

            Any ideas?

          • ScorpioStings says:

            “What if the wife never found out.”
            The fact is, she did find out and that’s when the 15 years of lies and betrayal became apparent to her. This “let’s pretend for a moment” crap is a stretch even for you, Dave. Don’t even get me started on the Bullshit you posted in this thread the other day about the potential physical pain he felt due to the “kind of sex his wife wanted” – right after you said it was “irresponsible” for us to speculate. Unfortunately, any good her husband had done during that 15 yrs time is eclipsed by the bad that’s been discovered – that’s on him – you have a 15 year affair and you assume the risk of losing everything. It’s actually quite a rational reaction for anybody when realizing you’re married to a liar and a cheater.
            You say it’s “not just luck” that he didn’t bring home an std. The fact of the matter is, yes, it WAS just luck because no form of protection, condoms included, is 100% effective in preventing transmission of herpes and (worse yet) hpv.
            You say you “often wonder what motivates a person to discourage another person from thinking things through.” The same guy who would actually encourage the husband to have the affair (you justify affairs in just about every response) vilifies the wife for not putting up with it when it’s discovered.

          • Meth Kills says:

            Fifteen yrs, wtf, no lecture needed

          • dave1234ca says:

            SS: Don’t even get me started on the Bullshit you posted in this thread the other day about the potential physical pain he felt due to the “kind of sex his wife wanted” – right after you said it was “irresponsible” for us to speculate.”

            Then let’s not speculate about “herpes and (worse yet) hpv.” Yes, there are STDs out there but let’s not run around like Chicken Little and say the sky is falling.

            As I’ve said before the wise thing to do is look at the big picture. How was the marriage/life for those 15 years. That’s the reality and that’s what it appears the wife is doing. Would she have lived a better life with someone who was faithful but an alcoholic or an abuser or a lazy person who never held a job or…..

            What is the reality? That is all I’m saying anyone should consider when dealing with an affair. It’s the initial shock which knocks people off kilter and they end up going on a rampage causing more harm to themselves.

            Regardless of what the wife decides she is being logical and mature and intelligent about this and we should all be supporting her. Hopefully, others will learn from her.

  8. realdeal says:

    Your husband can and will do anything. You will do nothing about it.
    Bad boys and the women who crave them.

  9. Anne says:

    Please get rid of him and get a top lawyer and take him for everything you can get for you and your daughters, he can never be trusted again and he will cheat again and again and only break your heart.

  10. Louniece says:

    Stop being a Drama Queen. You will NEVER leave him. You’re addicted. Learn to get along with your Sister-Wife.

  11. all women cheat says:

    I never will understand women, what is the big deal ?? Men have, since the dawn of time, had side p**** to meet their needs. ITS JUST SEX!!! Women/wives/GF have always done the same thing. Most husbands/fathers/BF with some extra side trim are historically the most devoted and loving partners. Its basic human genetic/chemical makeup. Men and the women who service them get a bad rap for core basic emotions…. It always appears on this site, that the ppl who need the most intense counseling/therapy are the angry posters. Grow up and move into the 21st century..

  12. meth killed your brain cells says:

    Wife, you are an idiot for posting this story, stating with him, and confronting the hw.

    You played yourself, you saw the pics, he is into swingers clubs, random sex, etc.

    My point is you can suppress him, but you can’t change him, do you get it??? His desire is to be a swinger as he has been for years.

    I know a guy, he had a secret life having sex with gays, but was married with children. Did he want to leave his family and life the gay life? No, in fact him and his wife celebrated 30 years, AND SHE HAS NO CLUE, NONE AT ALL, IN FACT I CAN’T LOOK STRAIGHT AT HER and I am repulsed by him.

    Anyway good luck in your short term marriage, don’t waste too much time with the rest of your life with the singer husband OR, TELL HIM YOU WANT TO SWING ALSO!!!!!

  13. Wifey2uBitch says:

    Wife, pick your self esteem up off the floor, and make him hit the door. Please, you are the guardian of two young women, is this what you want for them? This sordid disgusting nastiness? You set the example for them to follow, it is your actions they are bound to emulate, not your words Choose carefully, Wife, for your family will live and model the choice You make. His Family, shows you no respect or decency after 27 yrs? You need to get mad, furious, and take f****** everything! I think you are in denial, the hurt has shut down your emotions. Look at your beautiful daughters, visualize, this is what you will sentence them to, if you dont get out! Pic 3, where hubby is smiling happily for this disgusting Troll would have done it for Me. I would have went “snapped” on both of them, and we would all be on the 6’oclock news!! Boom b****, go ahead and smile with both your cheeks, and take your place on the HOmewreckers Hall of Shame. You get a gold star for your extra effort in modeling how to be a nasty, white trash w****. Yuck, just f****** yuck.

  14. ginny says:

    How stupid are you to stay with him

  15. SharonR says:

    Husband kicking and screaming because you are watching his every move. Of course he is. And it’s not so much that you are driving him crazy, it’s the fact that it’s harder for him to get out and resume his cheating ways. Believe me he will find a way. He’s been doing this for 15 years. I hope you can find some strength within yourself to get out of this going nowhere marriage. Constantly having to check up on his every move does not make for a healthy relationship.

  16. chris says:

    If you have to force him to stay around and not cheat on you then what kind of marriage do you have??

  17. Dayum! says:

    Well now you know your husbands dark secret..he likes to swing. Did he ever bring it up to you? Maybe he assumed you wouldn’t want to try it or maybe he didn’t like the thought of some other man with you> they think they own you, but they can do whatever the hell they want. Big double standard. So he did what he could, he found some one else to be his f*** buddy, although selecting someone you work with is just stupid. And her rubbing it in your face was wrong though. I have to agree with others about the constant surveillance..that won’t end well. I understand you can’t trust him, but don’t expect to change him either. At this point, if the two of you can’t compromise on something, it may as well be over.

  18. I hate lying bitches says:

    I think that it is usually okay to give a husband one more chance. He would have to behave perfectly, meaning zero contact with the side ho, to be able to keep his family. He should pretend his life depended on it. You caught your husband, after the fact, having lunch with that giant nosed s***. Why would you think he is going to change? His betrayal of you and your family is just so over the top. It is like you are his enemy and his goal has been to hurt you as much as possible. If you have to constantly watch him to make sure he behaves, I would say the cost of keeping him is too high. Of course, it is up to you. He must have some good qualities that makes you want to keep him. I don’t see what that could be but, again, it is your choice if you want to live a life where your husband prefers to f*** the side ho and makes excuses to not have sex with you. I could never forgive that.

  19. After having an affair for 15 years, your husband is never going to change. I cannot understand why you still have him around. You should divorce him and take what’s rightfully yours.

  20. Badd b**** says:

    I think the wife needs some serious therapy. For 15 years he lied to you. You found out he wasn’t just banging this skank but he was a swinger too. Some people are just so nasty. The photos are disgusting. What more do you need him to do in order to end it? I have never said this and probably won’t ever say it again. Shut the hell up and deal with the crap your letting go on. Put his ass on blast too. They should have a website for dumbass wife pics too. Just saying

  21. rowski says:

    That d*** nose b**** needs a scum detector to sound off when she walks pass any postal meter. Yuck looks like fresh DNA dropped on the chair. Please people wash your hands after touching all mail.

  22. 2nd Chances says:

    Remember the wife didn’t know about any of this. Her world has completely fallen apart and she is completely overwhelmed. Ending a marriage is not a trivial decision. She was blindsided and is probably trying to figure out how he could get away with this for so long? How did she not see it? How could he comfortably lay in bed with her at night after being with hw? How could she ever trust him again when she trusted him so completely before and he was doing this? Shes put him on lockdown to try and gain some control of this situation. This is a bad situation with incredible pain. I believe this wife is being smart and is not making an impulsive decision out of anger, betrayal and hurt. She is also thinking about her kids and how they would be impacted by this decision. Her husband never thought of her when he did his thing. She is the better person. Give her time to grieve and cope so she can then make the right decision for her and her daughters.

    • I know cheaters in Potosi WI and Dickeyville WI ( and Thompson IL and Elmhurst, IL now) says:

      I think you are right. She is in shock and if she moves to quickly she could hurt herself more. Obviously, the Wife trusted her husband (as is normal) but he took that gift and abused it, used it and threw it away like a used w****. Wife, give yoruself time, talk to friends, DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING your husband gives you. DO NOT SIGN for any loans! Get yourself a support system so if he wants something you can discuss it with others. Do not make any decisions alone at this point when you are dealing with the immense shock and deep rooted pain.

  23. Stella says:

    I agree with most of the comments on here. You need to seriously wake the f*** up and realize that your seemingly perfect marriage or husband was nothing more than a figment of your imagination.
    I still can’t get over the third pic with the husband taking the snapshot of her spread doggy style with that s*** stain on the chair between her legs. Lol…lol…it’s priceless !!! I wonder if the pic was showing her enlarged redeye. Ughhhh.. Moving right along…
    Why the f*** would you want to keep him at home anyways !?! Dump the turd and start a new life of your own without him. Set a good example for your daughter. You will drive yourself crazy with all the pain, insecurities and doubts. Whatever you do, best of luck and get a good therapist.

  24. SharonR says:

    Just wondering. How does one roll a phone up in the tongue of ones shoe? I tried it and failed.

  25. Missy says:

    Wife said she found his phone rolled up in the tongue of his work shoe. I, too, cannot figure out how to roll a cell up in a shoe tongue.

  26. Aniteh says:

    Ugh imagine how many people he slept with all those years and with promiscuous people. He put your life at risk, lied to you and betrayed you for 15 years, if not more. He also denied you sex claiming a health issue but had no problem having sex with others. He may have a good side but he is two faced and will always be that way. I would have kicked his ass to the curb.

  27. Liz says:

    Wow I can’t believe you’re staying after 15 years of lies and deception. Also, why do you feel you have to monitor him? I don’t know about you, but I got a full time job and don’t think I’d want to babysit a grown ass man constantly. How exhausting and not to mention a huge waste of time! Are you that desperate to keep around this piece of s*** who continuously put your life at risk for so many years? Seems pretty pathetic, but you know what they say, better you than me!

    • chris says:

      I think the OP has some kinky sex deal going on with the cheater. She is getting off on torturing him by constantly monitoring him and what he is doing! Maybe she ties him up at night and beats the crap out of him now!

  28. Lora says:

    I don’t get why you’d even WANT him in your home, let alone force him to stay. That’s disgusting. I am sure you’re not that desperate honey….not all men are this much scum.

  29. I know cheaters in Potosi WI and Dickeyville WI ( and Thompson IL and Elmhurst, IL now) says:

    This couple needs major help. He has to stop his cheating, of course, but the more difficult question is why this husband wants to cheat and be a “swinger”. Unless he his committed to changing, he won’t. He likes this “swinger” cheating lifestyle — its been going on for 15 years.

  30. some1whoknows says:

    I cannot believe you went ahead and posted this you should be ashamed of yourself have you forgotten who broke her wedding vows 1st long before this started I will pray for you

    • Meth Kills says:

      Tell the story, please!! Tell us that the wife is a cheating w****, first and got caught, please please

    • i hate lying bitches. says:

      Nobody believes you. This is a common tactic of s**** and cheaters and lying idiots.

      • I know cheaters in Potosi WI and Dickeyville WI ( and Thompson IL and Elmhurst, IL now) says:

        This is a very common tactic. The cheater I am married to is telling people I cheat, make threats, etc. He has even lied to the police about me so I don’t even think I can call them for help if I need it. He as been violent with me in the past. He baited me into a phone fight and showed 1/2 of the responses to the police. Now I am the villain.

        I have never made any threats or cheated ever. I have never been violent with him and he has refused to answer any questions about his cheating and will not contact me.

        He projects all his behavior onto me. Now he has his w**** he talks too. w**** even lied about him and said he cheated on w**** with a motel s***. That’s true love.

        The people the cheater talks to don’t care about him at all. I was the only one who ever did and now that’s over. Even his kids won’t call him back.

        • Meth Kills says:

          What’s so hard about moving on lady??? Ask him what???? It’s over, move on!!!!

          • Hindsight2020 says:

            Yes, because giving up your entire life, with a broken heart, soul and mind is easy! Especially after someone has been running your thoughts and emotions through a meat grinder.

            Her husband sounds like a complete prick but these situations are extremely complex.

            Give the poor woman a break.

            Bring on the down votes…..

    • dave1234ca says:

      Ohhh, this is sounding interesting, Some1whoknows. Did the OP introduce her hubby to swinging? Was she getting a little extra on the side?

      Inquiring minds want to know.

      • some1whoknows says:

        It is not my business weather you believe me or not she knows the truth and its what matters now for michelle I cant say much i dont condone there behavior either but dirty laundry should be aired at home think about the girls

        • dave1234ca says:

          I never said I doubted you, Some1whoknows. You have just as much credibility as the OP. We can only go by what people write and I thought if you could shed some light on this it would be appreciated.

          As for the pictures I have no doubt there are a few here who would be embarrassed if what they did in the bedroom was posted on the net. I’m sure the OP had other pictures to post and put these up for shock value.

          To be frank I think a lady’s body is beautiful. However, I do think the stain on the chair should have been air brushed out. It probably was a coffee spill when someone was sitting on it. (I’ll go with that thought.)

          In any case I appreciate you replied to my post.

        • I hate lying bitches says:

          Who the f*** are you to tell her where she needs to air her dirty laundry?leave your name if you are telling the truth.

        • Anne says:

          It only becomes dirty laundry because the husband Ray and the w**** have been caught.

        • Anne says:

          “think about the girls”

          Oh now you think of the girls but not before the husband and w**** got caught, I think the girls will decide and not some old slapper their father has been banging for years.

    • StopTheBS says:

      She should not be ashamed of herself, the dirty s*** in the pictures should be ashamed for being a dirty w**** and sleeping with man she knew was married with kids. Also, his FAMILY (as in sisters and cousins) should be ashamed for welcoming her into their family and inviting her to family events. They obviously don’t care about his daughters, what kind of fucked up “family” is that? Anyway, you said it’s none of your business so why would you comment on the situation and get yourself involved? If it’s none of your business, stay out of it.

    • Anne says:

      Oh give up the crap and lies take a look at the drip on the chair there is your answer.

    • chris says:

      was the wife a cheater first

  31. Unomeomy says:

    She should bring a new MALE BFF home and have her way with him and ask hubby if he wants to watch! Bet he appreciates her after a good dose of his own medicine. Well, maybe that’s a bad idea, but he does need a good reason to feel less secure about the fact that she’s waaayyy too committed – if he’s worried about losing her, then he’ll kiss her feet forever. It’s called the Law of Attraction. We all have a tendency to crave the forbidden fruit – it’s human nature. She needs to become what he thinks he can’t get. What do you think?? Playing hard to get works. Once he sees he has to work to get her attention (as in becoming a real man), he either will try or won’t. Then she’ll know if he truly wants/loves her enough to stick around. Put the bastard on notice. After a date with another man, he’ll start freaking out and all she’ll have to say is, “What’s good for the goose, is good for the gander BABY!” His jaw will go through the floor (all the way to China). Ha ha. Would love to see how that played out!

    • realdeal says:

      Husband would include Michelle.
      He would like.

    • dave1234ca says:

      I think someone suggested something similar, Unomeomy. Get her into swinging.

      This swinging stuff reminds me of a gal I used to date. We split and I met her a month or so later and asked how she’d been doing. She said she met a really nice guy just the week prior and on the second date he took her to a really fancy club. He knew how to treat a woman. He introduced her to a few friends. All nice people.

      Anyway, when I got home I checked out the name of the club in the phone book. (This was before computers.) The club was a swinger’s club. The second date and the guy couldn’t wait to trade her for someone else. HAHAHAHAHAHA

      I found that so funny. She had no idea it was a swinger’s club.

      Anyway, maybe the answer to the OP’s marriage is swinging. No emotional commitment. Obviously her husband loves her as he’s been swinging for 15 years. It’s like that old saying, “Different strokes for different folks.”

  32. Angrywifeshowsherwrath says:

    @ someonewhoknows- Expose yourself, you f*cking coward. God will strike you down for lying! I’m sure I’m also lying about the colorful pictures of my husband & the troll that are clearly on this site. Go ahead, tell us your side of the story, I’m curious to know how the f*ck I’ve EVER cheated on or with my husband. Better yet, if you’ve been deceived of the truth, & you know my husband, ask him in front of me if I’ve ever cheated on him or cheated with him!

  33. The_Don says:

    From your recounting of the events and your apparent disgust with some of the things you saw in the phone, it sounds like you were wholly inadequate in bed for your husband (likely even worse now). If he loves your daughter as much as he says, the only reason he’s staying is because of her. Once she’s out of the house and he’s left with a jaded woman that watches his every move and refuses to satisfy him, he’ll be gone.

  34. Xannie says:

    Ewwwwwwwww you seriously still have this man in your house? What’s wrong with you? You know he was all up in it, raw dogging her! You show us these nasty pictures then tell us he’s still in your home…..and you’re mad at his family?! His family stayed out of it because they knew you’d take it. What’s the point of getting in the middle and feeling awkward, when you know the wife is going to put up with it. This is gross and you’ve set a horrible example for your daughters. Guaranteed they’ll hook up with cheaters. Thanks mom.

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