My husband and I met Michelle at a local meet up for people with the same religion as ours. We talked with her and her boyfriend and got along well. Shortly after, she and her boyfriend split up (they have two kids together). We invited her to a New Year’s party at our house, and eventually to religious gatherings with us (we are Wiccan/Pagan). After becoming a part of our group, Michelle and I began to become good friends. She was in the hobby of dog showing and breeding and I loved the dogs. We hung out and did everything together. I watched her kids for her while she was at work, and my husband would do “man” things around her house because she did not have a male family member or friend that could help her. She was my best friend, even though she was 6 years older than me.
We were best of friends for about 5 years, but throughout that time she would man bash and even make comments about my marriage and why I would put up with certain things. In the beginning I was happy with my husband and marriage. We struggled financially and such, but over all I though our relationship was good. After my husband injured both his shoulders on the job and required surgery, he switched jobs to being an over the road truck driver. I at the time was working for Michelle, helping her with her sales job, watching her kids and over all helping her out with other stuff. I only made $100 a week, but it was more a bonus. I had someone to hang around with and do stuff with while my husband was away, my kids had friends to play with, and I had someone to help me with things too. I didn’t have much to complain about my husband like a lot of women did. Then things changed.
He started spending more time out on the road. He’d come home and go directly to bed, or to the computer. He’d do more helping her around her house than doing things I needed him to do at home. Everyone told me they were probably sleeping together, but since his ex-wife had cheated on him, I didn’t think he’d do that to me. To top it off, he was planning to have a renewal of our vows on our 10th anniversary and had her helping him plan a “wedding” for me since we had gotten married originally at Justice of the Peace.
Our sex life dwindled, and we became two people living separate lives together. It seemed I was more married to Michelle than to him. I still didn’t think anything was going on between those two because she was sleeping with another woman she knew husband, two other guys, and my husband’s younger brother. I never once thought my husband was one of her nights of the week.
I tried to talk to him and let him know how I was emotionally feeling, that I missed him, I missed being close to him, I missed sex with him. He told me it was him, not me, and he just didn’t feel good about himself. He told me to go get a boyfriend if I needed to. I refused. I was married. That was not an option.
Things got worse. He’d go to take out her trash for her and be gone for hours, claiming they just got to talking. I still wanted to believe it was innocent, that it was just because she was my best friend and around all the time. We all three used to joke that Michelle was my wife, and that she wanted me, not him.
Finally another man came on to me and I said no because I was married. Michelle told the other man that I had permission from my husband, so the advances didn’t stop. I tried to talk to my husband again and was again told go get a boyfriend, do what you need to do. I still didn’t want to do that. The man that was coming on to me worked in a place that Michelle and I went to almost daily. We went with another friend one day, and he asked if he could kidnap me. Michelle and the other friend took away every excuse I gave not to go “talk” with him, including driving my car home, picking up my kids, and telling me to go to her (Michelle’s) house.
I told my husband that I didn’t like the way things were going between us, and I thought perhaps we needed a little time separated to miss each other and work through our problems. He told me he wanted a divorce.
After our separation, I found out he was spending his weekends in town with her. I would let him take my car on the weekends he was in town so he could see the kids. He used my car to go down to Ohio and slept with another of our friends. That friend called me and told me directly the next day that she regretted it and whatever excuses she had. Then I found out from his brother that he had been sleeping with Michelle for approximately 3 years of our marriage. Faced with 3 betrayals, I was devastated.
He spent the first year we were apart with her whenever he came into town. Told our kids on what would have been our 10th anniversary that they were getting married. They married a few years ago, and ever since he doesn’t pay his child support and hardly ever sees our kids. She goes out and spends $200 or so a weekend at the dog shows, and frivolously spends his money on herself and her kids while the child support still doesn’t get paid and when things are needed for our kids we get the “We’ll see what we can do” story.
They have no house payment and no car payment. That’s an extra $1500 a month they have more than us, yet they can’t pay a couple hundred toward helping raise the children she KNEW were before her?
Then he comes and picks the kids up for Father’s day this year and tells them he’s thinking of divorcing her, and sits on my porch and complains to me and the kids about her and how he wants to divorce her and promises how things are going to change and his support is going to get paid now.
I’m so lucky he screwed me over like he did to make room for the wonderful man I now have in my life. I just wish that I would have been smarter about what was going on before and kicked this homewrecker out of our lives before my children got hurt. Now they think their dad loves the homewrecker and her kids more than them, and it’s just not fair to them.