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Open Letter To The Homewrecker

Hello,

You don’t know me. You only know what he has told you of me. Perhaps that I am crazy or boring or selfish. Or that things that have happened to him in his life are somehow my fault. Those are his usual lies. Surely you are smart enough to look into some of that for yourself, rather than just believe a man with a motive. But you don’t know me. If you did you would not violate me and trespass in my family. If you knew me you would know what the last 14 years have meant to me. If you knew me you would see the love I have for my family, the passion I share with my husband and the fierce protection I exercise over my children. You would know I care deeply and I don’t hold grudges. That I forgive easily and carry the weight of our family on my back. That I have been to hell and back and survived so I don’t give up easy. You don’t know the depth of my soul, the audacity of my heart, my faith in my God. You don’t know what I’ve been through and overcome and I will not tell you because you don’t belong here and you don’t deserve to have intimate knowledge of me. I have nothing to prove to you and obviously, if he has painted me in a negative light, I don’t care. Because he knows my worth. That’s why he is still here. You, nor anyone else, will push me out of my life. You will not steal what I have built for my children. You will not take what does not belong to you. Not from me. I have stood by this man when he had nothing. Together we built what we have today. I know how it feels to take his name, have his babies and hold his head up when he is weak. I know how it feels to fall asleep in his arms and wake there without guilt or fear of being “found out”. Mine is the name he whispers when he is afraid, when his father died and when I hold him in our bed. I know how it feels to have him proudly say, “Here is my wife and these are my kids – my family” when he introduces us to strangers. And to hear the world acknowledge our family, the beauty of our children and the smile on his face. I know how that feels. You do not. No, you don’t know me. And you don’t deserve to step into my life.

You don’t know my children. How they resemble their father. How they learn from his every move. They always watch. Listen. Absorb him into their minds. They worship the ground he walks on. I made sure of that. Little girls need their fathers and a healthy relationship with him to develop mentally and emotionally. I support that in our home. He is our leader and our rock. You don’t know my children. You don’t see the fear in their eyes at the thought of losing their family. You didn’t wipe their tears and hold them when they saw your pictures. You weren’t touched by their insecurity when they see and find out about another one of you. They aren’t babies anymore. They are smart and perceptive. Beautiful and intelligent. Not fooled by the likes of you. They don’t want you here. They want their family. They want to know that they matter more to their father than yet another desperate lonely woman. They want peace and emotional safety in their home.

You don’t know my husband. I know him inside and out 14 years’ worth of mostly ups and a few downs that made us. 47 years that made him. His family, his needs, his desires, his weaknesses and his strengths. You don’t know him. You know what he tells you of himself. What he pretends to be in a dirty little secret world. It’s in his heart to serve the Lord and lead his family as a Kingdom Man, but his flesh is weak. Satan preys on him to distract and destroy and you are but one of many of the enemy’s tricks. Yes, TRICKS. My husband is caught in a spiritual battle and he is losing as you continue providing satanic ammunition. Manipulative texts, dirty pictures and Satan laughs at both of you and the destruction you seek to deliver. No, you don’t know my husband. If you did, you would know that he will not leave me. Not for the kids’ sake or child support but because he LOVES me in a way you will never know. In a deep and eternal way that doesn’t stop even if our relationship did. He desires me in a way he never has anyone else. I provide a sense of safety, stability, warmth, passion and freedom that no one else will. Unconditional love and acceptance in the safety of his covenant of a family. If you knew my husband you would know the juvenile infatuation that prompts him to reach for you will prompt him to reach for another if he was without you. That the chemical reaction in his brain is nothing more than a horny-teenage impulse and is unstable at best. The deep, abiding and familiar love he seeks he has at home. That when he is truly alone, it’s his family, not his harem that he misses. If you knew my husband you would know that romantic texts and sweet nothings are his player’s lines. Not his love language. He speaks his love in his actions – love is an action word for him. He shows it in making sure his family is taken care of in every way. All his empty words might get you to send one more dirty video or maybe get him laid, but he will tire of you soon. If you knew my husband you would want the best for him. You would want him to listen to the Spirit and God and move in the direction he moves him, which is not anywhere near you, my dear. You don’t know him.

And lastly you don’t know yourself. If you did, you would value yourself too much to settle for being someone’s part time, down time or pass time. No matter what loss you have suffered in your life (loss of a spouse) to create this gaping hole in your heart, my husband cannot fill it. It’s a burden he cannot bear and even if he left me to be with you, the weight of your need would smother your future together. It’s a need only God can fill and he needs to heal you before he can bring you a man to love you in the way you desire. If you knew yourself you would be honest about a relationship with a taken man and the destruction it causes. You would guard your heart and not be a trap for any man. If you knew yourself, for the sake of being a woman you would refuse to hurt another woman, let alone her children. If you knew yourself you would save yourself for a man who is proud to have you by his side instead of denying he knows you. You would require a man to be free and available before you would give any piece of yourself to him. You would not fight for or pursue a man who was not equally invested in your love. You don’t know yourself.

I can only hope you know me better now, my man, my children and yourself. I pity you and I pray for you. And I forgive you. I pray that you will be relieved of guilt, healed of your hurt and that you find happiness. And I pray you leave my family alone for all of our sakes.

His Wife

 

 

Comments

comments

54 Responses to “Open Letter To The Homewrecker”

  1. Cat says:

    Omg beautifully written!!

  2. Amber says:

    Amazing. She’s a better woman than I am. Great read. Well thought out and 100% raw emotion. Excellent.

  3. erin says:

    Really made me cry. this is how i have always felt and have fought so hard to make these girls realize this!! Very awesome and hopefully shell take it to heart and.maybe he should read it

  4. Jessica says:

    Like everyone else said very well thought out. When a woman pours out her emotions they just flow like the wind and I guarantee you she meant every single word. These home wrecking whores don’t value themselves so have no intent to value the families and feelings of the WOMAN who stands by her man. They are basically just toys that get played with and eventually will be thrown away. A woman should value herself more than that. Yeah it’s fun for awhile but without love se is just sex, with love there is a soul connection that no other woman can make with that man. That is why relationships last for so long. Everyone has a one point in time or another lusted for someone that wasn’t theirs its if you act on it or not. In most cases a boy will act a MAN will not because he knows what’s at stake if he gets caught! For every woman that has been a victim keep your heads up it will get easier an pray and talk to god it does help I promise!

    • Mari says:

      Well said my love!!! Forgiveness is tough! I praise you and Jesus! For only a woman if god can forgive such a nightmare but see u said it best, it’s the enemy n he has a battle if the flesh! But god will mend it all!!!! God comes first, always!!! God will guide u always as long as u allow him to!
      I am truly admiring u and ur strength!
      No this choice of forgiveness is not for everyone but with ur relationship having been that length of time, u have weighed the odds and for u this was the best choice… For me a few years ago I wouldn’t have been able to do that but today I feel confident that I may b able to do so! Good luck in all u do!!! God bless u and ur family!

  5. Amanda says:

    Wow I wish I would have had the strength you do when my ex husband cheated and left his family for a 17 year old girl. You really are a strong woman.

  6. Brenda says:

    To endure through all is a feat I have not been able to do. I pray someday to be as strong a woman as she and wish I had read that seven months ago. Cause I believed his lies when he said he was not going back to her. I should of known better. Some of us are without ever wanting to be or wishing to cause such pain. I’m sorry from all of us who were nieve enough to believe.

  7. [...] This is posted on my website, a reader of my website shared this with me! Amazing! http://shesahomewrecker.com/open-letter-to-the-homewrecker/ [...]

  8. itsjustme says:

    Give or take a few things in the letter, she seems to be living in some kinda weird web as some of us, to include myself. This woman wrote down everything I’ve been feeling but never to put out. I feel for the women who’s husband’s left. I, personally, chose to stick this out because I know who he loves and who he F***ked. I, as well, let the husband read this and with tears in his eyes, I received a kiss. As if he was saying “well put” to her as well. Thank you for sharing.

  9. Yvette Rodriquez says:

    Speechless! Powerful!

  10. atlanticcanadian says:

    This is awesome. The homewrecker will stand in the betrayed wives shoes some day. Me I am no longer angry at my homewrecker because there is always karma.

  11. -c vigil says:

    when the woman knows he is married with 4 kids i have nopitty for her she knew all about hin having a family and he knew she was easy so he didn’t. lie to her. i left him and she continues. to sleep. around

  12. Gloria says:

    This has gotten so old!! First off the fucken home wrecking slut isnt trying to know you and could care less of you and your kuds or what you have going!! They are just.in it for one thing and one thing only to get your husband!! Thats what these whores do.This post keeps on being updated every day but yet they have hundreds of posts that yet ppl are still waiting on to see of their home wreckers!! I dont get it,.

    • Ariella says:

      Well Gloria, then perhaps you should not read it. I will continue to post it EVERY DAY because I will and because I can. As far as the Homewreckers, I am exposing several daily. The “they” you refer to is me. I am “they”, as in ARIELLA who is only ONE person. . . and if I am not moving fast enough for you, there are other sites like mine. I don’t just post, I also verify the poster and postee and that can take hours for one story! Perhaps you would prefer to expose your homewrecker on one of the other sites . .Ijs. . .

      • Becky says:

        Ariella you are doing a great job! I check everyday to see if my homewrecker has been exposed yet. This letter was amazing. Thank you for posting it!

  13. lfarmer17 says:

    beautiful!

  14. Ashlea says:

    I love this site and fb page… and to the woman who wrote this, you have a spot in my heart. I have never dealt with a homewrecker, my husband cheated the first year we were together, back before we had a family, home, back when we were younger. I still have nightmares of the pain I endured. I have forgiven him, and after 11 more years he has truly proved to be a man who loves his wife.. this open letter has diminished the hate I still had towards the girl he cheated with. I used to hate myself that I didn’t get to knock her teeth out, but those women who can rise above it and know where their man’s heart truly lies, those women are jyst as strong as those who leave. Thank you

  15. THANK YOU FOR SHARING, I WISH I HAD YOUR STRENGTH, I LEFT MY HUSBAND CAUSE HE TOLD ME HE WISHED HE NEVER LEFT THE HOME WRECKER FOR ME. WE STILL TALK NOW… AND HE TRIES TO SAY HE LOVES ME SO MUCH AND HE MISSES MY TOUCH, BUT ITS HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE BECAUSE I FORGAVE HIM AND HE DID AGAIN WITH THE SAME ONE AND MY SUPPOSE TO BE BEST FRIEND. THE PRESSURE CAUSED ME TO HAVE A BRAIN BLEED IN 2010 THANK GOD I SURVIVED, I JUST CAN’T TRUST HIM ANYMORE, BUT THE PART THAT BOTHERS ME SO MUCH IS WHY HAS GOD BLESSED HIM FINANCIALLY AND I’M STILL LOOKING FOR WORK THAT WILL PAY ME ENOUGH TO PAY MY OWN RENT AND BILLS SO THAT I WON’T BE HOMELESS, I REFUSE TO GO BACK TO HIM AS MUCH AS I KNOW IT WOULD HELP ME TO GET A PLACE TO STAY, I COMMEND YOU. I AM ALWAYS POSTING SOMETHING TO OTHER WOMEN PLEASE LET’S STICK TOGETHER AS WOMEN, DON’T BETRAY OTHER WOMEN BECAUSE HE SAYS THE SWEET THINGS YOU WANNA HEAR, GIVE THINGS YOU ALWAYS WANTED. HE’S NOT YOUR MAN, SAY NO MAKE HIM GO BACK TO HIS WOMAN. TELL HIM IF IT’S THAT BAD IN THE RELATIONSHIP BE FAIR TO THE WIFE OR COMMITTED GIRLFRIEND GIVE THEM A DIVORCE AT LEAST DON’T BE SNEAKY AND CHEAT ON THEM. BE HONEST TO THEM. SEND HIS ASS HOME!

  16. Ashley says:

    To arriella im thinking you are just a bully,you made this a public website for everyone to post their opinions yet you claim no bashing,but then again if it doesn’t meet your needs you have the right to bash others? Thats not right at all. All that im starting to see here is you wanting followers.

    • Ariella says:

      That is fine by you Ashley, but when someone complains about something I post on my page and insinuates that I can do better things and post other things, I take great offense to that. Simple solution, if you do not like the site or me, don’t view the site. . . Simple huh? And FYI I didn’t say anything about her comment about the letter, I was addressing her personal attack on me. . .I also suggest that if you are posting on a post that is titled open letter to a homewrecker, you keep it on topic and not wonder and worry about what I am doing or what I am posting. . .ijs. . .

  17. navychic says:

    I strongly believe that people should be given the right to post what they feel with out you “arielle” bashing every ones comments. Its a great site and I love reading everything on here but I do notice that no one can post their opinions without you bashing or putting them on blast because you can, I still rremember when this poor girl posted her opinion and you bashed her so bad you didn’t even give her a chance to defend herself,this has happened alot. you have made it clear that every one must like each one of your post or they can get out and unlike the page. Sounds to me like you are very controllin and selfish and need to learn how to deal with the publics opinions! After all it is a public website that you have here, I have read over and over and dont see any personal attacks just someone voicing their opinion. Dont be a hypocrite and dont do to others what you dont want done to you. You were very quick to jump the gun and use the word insinuate. You sound like a very spoiled brat whom if things dont sound the way you want them to, you go on a mad rampage exposing to the world just so you can feed off all of the positive feedback since you delete all of the negative ones.You should know that since you run a public website you will get all kinds of different opinions and feedback good or bad every one should be treated equally and not only to your standards.Most likely you will post this on Facebook as you do the ones you dont like and once again followers will bash and talk crap cheer on high five whatever but only because very few have the courage to agree that you arenot being fair.

    • Ariella says:

      Navychic- I NEVER EVER delete comments. And as I will say to you, it had nothing to do with the comment she made about the letter it had to do with apparently I am not posting Homewreckers fast enough for her. . . I’m sorry, last I checked it wasn’t up to anyone to tell me how to do my job. People can post whatever they want, but then you expect someone to post something about me, and my lack of speed while posting homewreckers and not defend. Sorry, really don’t care. And as far as spoiled, I am very spoiled. . .

  18. shantelle says:

    I dont see where any one is telling you you aint did your jib right,she jyst posted true facts that you have posted yourself,uh you said yo self you got hundreds of posts that are so behind, understandable by the way great job ;-) but she said the truth.And lets see then she talkn bout you putting up this post AGAIN. and even you said I will be posting this post again. Uh Whats the problem? Did ya see any attack cuz I sho didnt.

    • Ariella says:

      This post keeps on being updated every day but yet they have hundreds of posts that yet ppl are still waiting on to see of their home wreckers!! I dont get it It is made very clear that she is questioning my job. . .why am I posting this link if there are hundreds of posts of homewreckers to expose. . .huh, that is very clear to me. . .Shantelle/Navygirl

      Posting a link takes a second. Posting a homewrecker can take 2 hours for one post. . . .

      • JDC says:

        My goodness ladies, this courageous person has put herself out there and created a site for woman, mothers, spouses to come together for a few moments and vent , get some minor relief on a devastating and very real topic, get some kindred sisterhood going, and ur bashing her ?? Go somewhere else!! poof! Problem solved! Because I have been married, two kids for 15 and a half yrs, and I have a 22 yr old twit trying to take my husnad who just turned 40 ( perfect timing on her part mid life crisis an all) and I need some advice!! As far as I know nothing has happened and he’s very reassuring that it won’t, but this chic is relentless. I want to beat her ass so bad but it would just let her know she’s getting to me , and I refuse to give her more than she’s trying to already take, for now. so could we please get back to the topic at hand tell me wtf to do about this homewrecking whorebag!!

  19. monica says:

    This is a great site but I agree day after day I read lots of comments and even though it is her site she needs to be professional and not bash others because she doesnt like their comments I dont see any one bashing here just stating facts! I mean you dont see the owner of Facebook talking shit attacking every one he doesnt agree with.smh

    • Ariella says:

      You are absolutely right. He has a staff of thousands and he bans them when they don’t follow the rules that HE made. I do not bash. Bashing is calling people stupid or cursing at them, etc. I do neither. I speak my mind. Again, I am not Facebook. . .I am not making billions of dollars to do this, nor do I have staff. So therefor, I do the best I can and I will defend myself if someone is insinuating that I am not working in the way they would like or I am not exposing homewreckers fast enough. This is me, this is how I am and this is how I will continue to be. . . If you don’t like it, well. . .

      • Christa says:

        Ariella have you considered taking on moderators? I am sure they could be very helpful in posting and exposing. Just a thought :)

        • Ariella says:

          I can’t. My liability is too high and we already have moderators on Facebook, but. . . it is still a lot. . .

  20. Kelly says:

    I know “ariella” personally and lets just say, she is obsessed with this non paying site its driving us insane,her and her husband always argue. She doesnt attend to him without having her computer next to her or phone, her kids are lacking attention wich is sad im here anonymous but she needs help! What husband wants to come home to a filthy house filthy wife n kids,no food on the table no nothing because mommy/wife is too busy stuck in the twilight zone,you see her every minute of the hour on here wich makes you wonder does she even shower,eat,sleep etc etc. Im sure lots of ladies love this site but what they dont know is her life is falling apart, any one can be someone else through a screen but no one knows the actual truth but I do. And its sad.:-( she now loves to criticize others and shes ver controlling and racial wich is something she wasnt before we just want our old friend back.

    • Rainbow says:

      Friend? Gosh I think she needs different friends! My house needs work, my kids need me to be with them more, my husband would probably argue he’d like to spend more time with me, but I’m blessed to have true friends, friends who can walk in & see my house a mess, my hair a mess, & my kids go wild but still never speak ill of me! You need to realize you are not a friend & stop trying to cause problems! I would not doubt one bit that you are a hw yourself, Ariella watch out!

    • Layla says:

      Bitch what type of “friend” are you? You are obviously using this word too loosely. Why does it matter what she does in her home? It’s none of your damn business!!

  21. B. says:

    OMG …. Bitches. Total Bitches.
    And the “friend?” Not even an acquaintance would talk like that. If you cared at all about her marriage/family, you would keep your “advice” between you and Ariella.

    Whoever has issues about this site or how it’s run, then why bother browsing or commenting?

    There’s nothing wrong with Ariella’s replies. It’s obviously a lot of work and your unappreciative, rude comments about how the site’s run is naturally upsetting.
    What in the world is this woman going to gain from helping strange women from all over the country/world?!!! For someone to dedicate their time to do this completely selfless service is very rare.
    I wonder if these bitches are actual exposed homewreckers on this site.

  22. honeey says:

    Well said im going through the same shit. They have quit seeing each other but she randomly texts him, and im about to expose her ass and all her dirty secerts. She just got a new job she tells my husband, well does the new job know that you eat meth??? Maybe a trip to the employer. Her brother has custody of her kids. Sorry for venting. Letter well done!! Gives me more power!

  23. Sherie says:

    You are a smart woman to take her the strength of her fight against you and yours away from her. I admire you but he still does not deserve you and those innocent children! I did it for 17 years and I will no more. The latest trash, Jennifer Flack of Tuscumbia Alabama, can have him. His attempting to molest my daughter and beat my son was the last straw. Hope her son does not suffer at his hands but Im sure he and her will. God has saved me.

  24. Jilly822 says:

    Awesome letter! If the Homewrecker had a heart…… She’d leave him.

    PS…. Leave Arielle ! She’s doing the best that she can!

  25. pinky villegas says:

    Why would u even waste ur time writing a letter…ur husband is as guilty as she is..

    • Amber says:

      She wrote it because she loves him in a way you aren’t capable of or you would fight to keep him if this happened to you too.

  26. Happy says:

    I am not in the situation, mine happened many years ago concerning a best friend. You never forget. But alas I am very happy now, this lady set up a sight, which many of us have a look at. I think we should let her do what she’s doing. It is simple really, don’t go on this site if your not happy. Peace and Love to you all. <3

  27. Happy says:

    I also meant to add the letter that caused a debate, it was most beautifully, and dignified a very strong mother and wife. This Lady has set a beautiful example to her family. Peace and love to you and your family. Xx

  28. ldv says:

    Amazing! This could have been MY letter almost too the tee!! So well written and spot on. Thank you for sharing!!!

  29. Maria says:

    I dont see a strong woman in this letter. I see some one weak that is fighting for a man that continues to stick his penis in someone else’s vagina over and over.
    A strong woman is one that will not put up with this. That will teach her kids that they do not have to settle for someone that betrays them over and over.
    I will not tolerate one instance of infedility. The homewrecker is the husband. The other woman does not have a a commitment with me.

  30. isabel marant

    The person your every base as to why.

  31. KC says:

    Things I would’ve loved to had an oppurtunity to say! It’s so true! Thanks for writing it. It gave me a different perspective on some things I’ve been dealing with.

  32. Amber says:

    This letter was amazing. Also I think that if you’re the one who was cheated on and betrayed that you can deal with it any way you want, feel how you want, and place the blame however you want. It’s pathetic how of all you bitter bitches have nothing better to do with your time than bashing these wives because they got cheated on and handled it differently than you think you would. Makes me wonder how sad your life is.

  33. Anirbas says:

    Great read!

  34. Myrna says:

    Wow this letter was awesome , I commend this women and her strength for not backing off even though she was cheated on – she handled it very well and with her head high…

  35. hurt says:

    My husband is a co_pastor at his fathers church, i was diagnosed with breast cancer at the end of March, ductal carcinoma insitu… my husband and I have been best friends for almost 15 year… we were married April 2nd 2011.. the best day of my life when I married my best friend….we have seen each other through some pretty difficult times… once I was diagnosed with cancer everything changed, he was there for my first surgery, come may 9 2013 he moved out of our house: he led me on for 4 months believing that this was going to work out, to come to find out that he was having an affair with a woman named Angela, he is now filed for divorce… the only reason I’m posting this is to make women aware of such a thing called a romantic sociopath, my husband really fits the signs buying flowers and clothes and gifts in becoming very close very quickly, that’s how I was able to be brought in and now he’s doing the same thing with this woman that he’s with.. I’m sure telling her the same lies he told me its funny how you can know someone for so many years and not really ever know them.. I believe he is already moved in with her…. but I just thank God although I felt hopeless.and scared im just glad that he held on to my waist and allowed me not to jump when i felt i couldnt take anymore.. the other woman thinks that she’s won something, but he will do the same thing that he did to me if he’s cheating with me cheated on his first wife and probably his second wife why would he not cheat with her I didn’t know that he had cheated because of the lies….. and of course everybody’s always so kind to tell you after the fact but never before do they disclose information… but one thing I’ve learned if someone can’t stand by your side and your worst times they don’t deserve to be next to you at your times….amen

  36. Maybe you ought to hold your husband responsible for not being able to keep it in his pants. He’s the one who took the vow, not “the other woman.”

  37. […] I didn’t really touch on in the Slate post is the role religion plays in all this. The blogger printed a letter from a reader that really shows how religious beliefs that men are leaders and women are submissive helpmeets do […]

  38. Stella says:

    I loved the letter btw…well written.
    I also appreciate how Arielle takes the time to respond to comments and I doubt she is here solely to run her site/business. Arielle offers advice and even shares her own personal details with us. She is one of us and makes us feel better. I also want to add that my HW was up in no time and don’t forget that Arielle has to validate the information before posting. Now before some of you assholes begin spitting out your verbal diarrhea, allow me say that I don’t personally know Arielle, nor am I licking her behind. But like in every business, you will always have unsatisfied people, ball busters and shit stirrers.
    Arielle, I don’t know if this RAINBOW chick is truly your friend, but she has a fucked way of communicating her ‘concerns’ to you.

  39. Stella says:

    OMG !!! I am so sorry RAINBOW, I meant to type KELLY !!!!
    Sorry hun !!

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