I would like to share my story anonymously if that’s okay.
I’ve always wanted to tell my story and reading so many inspirational stories has finally given me the courage. I feel it will be therapeutic as well. Before anyone reads this please know I did get my happy ending. This story doesn’t end bad.
It all started when I was 16. I met who I (thought) was my first love. He was 18. Most popular boy in school. Every girl had a crush on him & wanted to be with him except me. I didn’t care much for him. I was quiet and shy myself. Sometimes I wondered if I was a conquest or a game to him. He started sitting with my friends at lunch trying to weezle his way in I suppose. I honestly thought it was annoying at first and I turned him down several times. Months later I finally saw something and gave in I suppose. I was also a virgin up until this point also. I knew he had dated many girls. Even at the mall together once a female came up to him and said “a new one already”. I was angry and hurt, but believed him when he said she was just jealous. Remember, I was only sixteen and I was easily manipulated and trusted everyone. I should have saw the signs, or so I thought. I didn’t even sleep with him for months. I made him wait because I didn’t want my first time to be with just anybody. I believe it was seven months later when we had finally had sex (and it was months after constant pressure).
A month later he broke up with me for another girl. We’ll call her JS. And the funny thing is WE had met JS together through mutual friends so she knew he had a girlfriend. She’d met me. I was devastated. I was young and tried everything to get him back. Four months later he asked me back out. Said him and JS had broke up. I believed him. Come to find out they didn’t. He was dating us both at at the same time. I confronted him. Asked him for proof he broke up with her since he said it was through text messages. He said he deleted them. Of course. She ended up breaking up with him once she found out and I stayed. One part I forgot to mention was I had been on birth control the entire time we were dating. The depo shot. Since he was my only, when we had broken up I didn’t go back to get my shot. I knew I was not going to sleep with anyone else and didn’t want to waste money on something I didn’t need. Within a month of us getting back together and before my appointment to go back for my shot I found out I was pregnant. I was petrified of telling my mother. Her and I had never been close and have always had a rocky relationship. I was still in High School. I did not work. I did not have a license or a car. I had no idea what I was going to do.
I wish at the time one person would have given me any positive encouragement or at least told me it was okay that I wanted to keep my baby but instead my mom and my (ex) boyfriend both said I had to give the baby up for adoption. My mom threatened to turn him in since he was over 18 and I believed her. The ex, well he was just a jerk. Said we were too young to take care of a baby and it was the best thing. I believed him. My mom ended up kicking me out and I moved in with him. It was miserable. I saw texts between him and JS and knew they were still hanging out again. Not only her now but several other girls. I confronted him and he broke up with me again. Let me tell you – Living with your ex while you’re pregnant and have nowhere to go is the most depressing thing in the world. He would leave most nights to hang out with other girls. I knew what he was doing. But I needed him. I loved him. Or so I thought. We would constantly break up and get back together over my pregnancy. The entire time while living with him. The last few months it seemed like things were better. We found an amazing couple to adopt my son and it would even be an open adoption. I was happy with that. Deep down I was heartbroken over what was to come but because everyone had convinced me it was for the best I believed them.
I ended up graduating from High school. I spoke about my ex in my graduation speech. He never showed. I ended up giving birth in August to my son. Placing a child is the hardest thing I have ever done. I literally felt like I was dying. I cried for two days straight in the hospital. My ex spent the night with me at least but left us alone during the day to “go with friends.” He never even cried once. I left that hospital with empty arms and I prayed this would make our relationship stronger. Prayed It would change him like it had changed me. I grew up so much.
11 days after giving birth his cousin had a “house party.” We went together. I just needed to get out of the house since I had been laying in bed for weeks crying. There we met AW. A new homewrecker. She talked to us both. I showed her photos of our birthson. She seemed nice. My ex at one point disappeared and come to find out.. With her. While I was there at the same house. He left me again for this new girl. I was so heartbroken. It was like going through two at once. I couldn’t stand living in the same house anymore. Watching him text her. Watching him sneak away to call her. I begged my mom to let me move back in because I was emotionally devastated and I was done. Few months later we get back together again. (I know). When am I going to learn? I get pregnant again. He tells me I have to abort it because if I keep this one everyone will hate me for keeping this baby and placing our first. He said we couldn’t do another adoption so soon. So I saved an entire month’s paycheck (and he didn’t pay a dime) and I took the pills. I fell asleep that night and woke up bleeding everywhere. I ran to the bathroom and got in the tub, crying as I miscarried. I was 18. I was all alone because as it so happens he was gone again. With another girl while I was at his house passing our child through my body. I don’t know what finally made me snap that night but my entire life just fell into my lap. This was not the life I envisioned for myself. These are not the things I wanted. I wanted to be a mother. I loaded up all of my belongings and left him the very next day.
My happy ending: I am now in a relationship with a guy (I had come to believe never existed). He is the definition of perfect. He knows everything about me. Visits my son with me. Takes me on dates. Buys me flowers. We have been together four years now and this is the man I am going to marry. I never even knew I could have happiness like this. The ex has been trying to get me back for years but I will never speak to him again. He is a monster. Do not settle for anything less than you deserve. It took me years to gain my self confidence back because it had been absolutely shattered. I will NEVER AGAIN stay with anyone who cheats. Someone who loves you would never do that to you.