S.A.H.W. Support…

S.A.H.W. Support…

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The other day my husband pulls into the driveway and just sat there in his truck for like ten minutes. I heard him pull up so when he didn’t come inside I looked out the window and thats when I knew something very serious was about to happen and my whole life was about to change. The look on my husbands face was something I had never seen before. I have known this man for 17 years and in all 17 of those years I have never seen him shed one tear… NOT ONE. Not for anything ever, his mom dying, his father, his Aunt, never. Not once. A part of me had always admired him for his strength but the same part of me had also wondered if he had even ever felt anything at all… well when I walked up to his window his eyes were full of tears. It was so shocking to see I started crying too before he even said anything. I was terrified. I looked at him and started yelling “What happened??” “What happened?” “Are the kids ok!?” “Tell ME!?” “Are the Kids OKAYY!??” “Whats happened!?”, he wouldn’t say anything and it was making me even more hysterical. I started screaming at him and he finally said ” Yes.. the kids are fine sweetheart, the kids are fine, their fine…” I asked him “Then WTF are you so upset about…”, little did I know he was about to tell me something that would devastate me just as much…

We walked inside, sat down, and he starts telling me that for the past year and a half he has been having an affair with our neighbor… who also happens to have been my best friend for the past 30 years. Her family and mine had taken this big vacation together, like we do every year, and apparently one night when everyone else went to bed they stayed up and kept drinking together, one thing led to another and they ended up having sex in the Jacuzzi… which also happened to be about 10 feet away from the bedroom I was sleeping in. They didn’t care… they were both so sauced up and nothing was going to stop either of them, not even the fact that both of their entire families, wives, husbands, sons and daughters… lay sleeping just a few yards away. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing… next thing I know the room starts spinning and everything starts to get dark like the light is being sucked out of the room and then it just goes completely black. I passed out, right there on my living room floor. When I woke up I was so confused. I didn’t know where I was, what was going on, I started to come to and was trying to figure out if I had imagined what I had just heard, and even started to think it was all just a really bad dream. Then I saw my husband and knew it was real. I couldn’t look at him. I just got myself up off the floor, went into our bedroom and didn’t come out for almost 5 hours. He knocked, he called, he texted, I didn’t even look at the phone. I don’t even think I moved until some of our other kids came home. Everything I had ever known about my entire life just changed and I guess I was having a really hard time processing it. I didn’t know what I was going to do… to either of them. I still don’t to be honest. I don’t even know what I’m going to say to her and considering I have to drive by her house every single day I’ll probably have to move as well. I’m still processing this whole thing and I could really use some advice from someone that has been through this sort of thing before. I loved my husband more than anything and how he could even do this after almost 20 years of marriage is absolutely beyond me… A part of me wants to at least try and salvage what might be left and at the same time I almost never want to see him again. I don’t know what to do. How hard is it to go back to someone that has done this to you? How do you tell the kids? What do you tell them? Are they going to be completely f*cked up for life because of this now? Three of them are old enough to definitely understand what is happening and I’m hoping my youngest will just never remember. Trying to make a marriage work after such an infidelity has got to be one of the hardest things to do in life, and I’m not sure if I am going to be able to stomach it. The thought of my children coming from a broken home completely devastates me. This just happened a week ago and he has been at his brothers house trying to talk to me and get through this all but I mean my best friend?? Since High School!?!  REALLY?!?!… and it has been going on for over a year right under my nose?? UGHHHH… It makes the whole thing so much worse and harder to deal with. I feel like my heart was broken twice over… it’s insane that my best friend, the one person I would be leaning on for support in this is the same person that helped perpetrate it. Honestly they have just both crushed me. What is the right choice here? I do know one thing though… the first thing I’m going to do after I write this, is make another submission, so the entire world can know who this amazing friend WAS, and hope that ANYONE AND EVERYONE in her future reads it before they become too close to her and she breaks their hearts and wrecks their home as well…

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  1. SandraMarch 19, 2018 at 9:32 am

    This has just happened to me too. I have to go past her house every day. He has given me our property worth around £500,000 to go live in a freezing cold caravan. So it must be love!!!!!
    I had just taken on my 2 grandchildren. So i am now an older single mother, while i have to watch his tart coming and going. He has changed beyond all recognition, even going as far as putting his hands around my neck! I never thought he would change so much, it just goes to show what the “other ” woman is capable off. I had known him 30 + years and been living together / married for 15 years!

  2. Emily_Mae2March 11, 2018 at 11:01 pm

    Please keep us updated on what you decide to do

  3. JenniferMarch 11, 2018 at 1:32 pm

    As hard as it is going to be, you have to leave him. The trust is gone. I promise it will not come back. There will always be the thought in the back of your mind if he did it once, he will do it again. As for your friend, tell her you never want to talk to her again. Also, she needs to tell her husband, or you do.

  4. Brandy "MegaBitchSupreme"March 11, 2018 at 12:18 pm

    I have been where you are except the other b*tch was HIS friend, not mine. However, it didn’t stop either of their accountabilities on this. Now, as a human being with emotions, I would imagine that the days after the first encounter, there would’ve been some kind of huddle on “this never happened” or “when’s it happening again” type deal. In short, they BOTH made the decision to continue the new level of their relationship, full-well knowing what it would cost them. They were OBVIOUSLY willing to sacrifice everything to keep going & were both willing to lose you in their lives forever over intercourse. I told my husband a divorce was the easy way out & his suffering would be legendary. I will never completely trust him again, & i will never allow myself to be as emotionally invested either. The infidelity was in the first 4 years of our marriage, & we’ve been married for 15 years in April. I say drop her & him completely & see if you can move on. But if you & your husband equally can’t quite get each other out of your systems, you should probably start working through it together. As for her, drop her completely. She knows you well enough to know what you’d wanna hear & whether or not she’s genuine she’ll still never be trustworthy again. Who wants a friend they can’t trust? The whole “frenemy” deal is for a$$holes who can’t man up. Do whatever you want but do it for you. Not the kids. Not him. Not her. JUST YOU! You’re the victim here so f*ck bowing to anyone. Good luck!

  5. MenarepigsMarch 11, 2018 at 11:59 am

    I’m so sorry he’s a selfish jerk

  6. Don’t do it!March 11, 2018 at 11:41 am

    I am sorry this has happened to you and it has to be so extremely painful…..but…you have kids and first and foremost you need to think of them. When and if you submit it even though it’s true you are inviting the entire world into your business and if the other woman’s husband wants to she or he can post a picture of your husband (on He’s a Homewrecker) that will be there for your children to see as they get older…..it will never go away. Period. So if you really are interested in saving your marriage leave the public out of it. Trust me this person and her husband already know and I’m sure your close friends also are aware of what happened so just think twice please!

  7. Listen up girl!March 11, 2018 at 11:40 am

    I am sorry this has happened to you and it has to be so extremely painful…..but…you have kids and first and foremost you need to think of them. When and if you submit it even though it’s true you are inviting the entire world into your business and if the other woman’s husband wants to she or he can post a picture of your husband (on He’s a Homewrecker) that will be there for your children to see as they get older…..it will never go away. Period. So if you really are interested in saving your marriage leave the public out of it. Trust me this person and her husband already know and I’m sure your close friends also are aware of what happened so just think twice please!

  8. MickieMarch 11, 2018 at 10:31 am


  9. StefMarch 11, 2018 at 10:23 am

    Girl I understand this all to well. My now current ex didn’t physically cheat (that ik of) but was asking 2 of my friends to fuck him. One of them he sent videos and pictures too. One was my best friend of 13+ years. The other was my old neighbor . Honestly if the trust is gone….leave. I think about it daily. So I’m in the process of leaving and we have 2 kids together. At least your husband left to let you think and heal. Mine won’t leave and is making us leave. You never get over this type of thing. Good luck! Wish you the best!

  10. Emily_Mae2March 11, 2018 at 10:05 am

    Girl, the same thing happened to me but my best friend was not only my sister but my twin to boot. We did everything together, I guess her “everything” meant sleeping with MY husband as well… needless to say it destroyed our rleationship, my now EX keeps trying to get me back but I stood my ground and divorced him, I am now dating a wonderful man who just asked me to marry him!! I know you want to try to save your marriage and I commend you for that, but in order to make that happen, you have to let go of what he did and fully trust him or else in the end the person it will destroy is you! Good luck and my heart goes out to you. Hugs!!

  11. Work it outMarch 11, 2018 at 9:05 am

    It’s worth it to work it out at least to try especially if he wants to try. He has to want to try. It won’t be easy but at least at the end of the day if it doesn’t work out you tried your best. Read/listen to this Love and Respect by Dr Emerson its a good book and if you could listen to it with your husband would be best!!! Seek counseling together and separate. read as much as you can as to why things like this happen. Reach out for support from family and screw that nasty person who allowed and contributed to this happening. She will get what she deserves. Ride past her house with your head held high because you didn’t do anything wrong!! Work on yourself…let your husband see the damage he has done. I wanted to know all the details. I hated that something happened behind my back I wanted all the information. It helped me to get past it. It was hard to hear but needed! Unfortunatey!!! It will take years…so don’t expect miracles!! Don’t hide anything from the kids because they aren’t stupid they will see you hurt. Be honest with them and your husband needs to explain to them he messed up. He needs to take responsibility. Stay strong you are strong!!! Your amazing!!!

  12. BethMarch 11, 2018 at 8:07 am

    Holy sh*t…
    I’d lose my sh*t I’d freak out on both of them.
    Like that’s your best friend you don’t do that it’s girl code 101!! You do not sleep with the bf, fiancé, husband!
    Even if they break up you don’t do it!!
    And as for your husband I couldn’t have him near me I wouldn’t be able to sleep near him look at him nothing the same.
    You f*cked my best friend you took all the trust I had and threw it out a window!
    I’d divorce him and start self healing.
    The kids don’t need a broken home and you don’t need to wonder every day what if?!
    Will he do it again?
    Will this open a door to more cheating?
    Why is he late!?
    Where is he!?
    Who is he with!?…
    It becomes consuming and tiring.
    I hope you heal from this and do what’s best for you…
    The kids will deal and heal and move forward but you have to think about you..
    Good luck.

  13. SueMarch 11, 2018 at 7:45 am

    I was married almost 30 years when I found out my husband was having an affair with the office hoe who was also married. She was on her 2nd marriage and had done the exact thing to another family. I know the feeling it is when the very person you have given your whole heart and trust in has done something so hurtful. In my case, I had tried for months to go to counseling not knowing he was in an affair. He never confessed, I found phone records and than my daughter told me her husband told her he had confessed to him. When I confronted him, he left, went to his sisters to stay and didn’t want to face me. He is still ashamed five years later, but he filed for divorce. Our kids were older, we have four granddaughters, but my advice to you is, if you both want to work on your marriage and be together, do it. A family is so much more important than a hoe. You can get past this, if you work hard and are determined to stay together. Move away from her and keep your family together. It takes both of you though to make the commitment. Good Luck and I hope you find peace and can forgive .

  14. Tommie girl!March 11, 2018 at 7:19 am

    She wrecked her home and that is between her and her husband. Your husband is the one that chose to wrecked your home. Post the real homewrecker. Granted the worst thing in the world is what you are going through. The two people you trusted the most. But you will never heal if you put all the blame on her. Good luck.

  15. A little bit of hopeMarch 11, 2018 at 6:23 am

    Take some time for and to yourself. The children need you be you cannot be the best “you” until you are stable mentally and physically.

    Remember to eat. Get some sleep. Stay hydrated. I do not know more details than written above obviously but dealing with this crisis starts with being in a place where you can.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  16. DeeMarch 11, 2018 at 6:14 am

    To feel this way is normal. Take your time an process it all. Do not make any fast decisions. Has he gave you any lame excuses? Have you talked to the wh*re friend? Have you told her husband, he has a right to know what a wh*re she is.

  17. KKMarch 11, 2018 at 5:42 am

    Go talk to a counselor by yourself. Then go together. Fight like HELL for your marriage & family. It will take time & work, it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Good luck!😘

  18. TriciaMarch 11, 2018 at 3:28 am

    So sorry this happened. You didn’t deserve this at all. Make sure and tell her husband too. Very selfish of both of them. I feel horrible for the kids.

  19. HappenedtometooMarch 11, 2018 at 1:26 am

    I’ve been there too. Mine happened 38 years ago. I’ve known for 35 years. I stayed with him. He’s never been unfaithful again. I know, he passed a lie detector test last month. I love him. You can get over it. He needs to know he has to share a lot more if you are going to stay. My kids are grown and still have no idea. They think their parents are great. I’m praying for you. Please seek out counselling, they can help you work through this.